Tuesday, December 9, 2014

EPISODE 258: Be Careful What You Wish For (Part 2)

Tuesday July 22, 2014
3:34 PM Eastern Daylight Time
The Nest- Backyard
Indianapolis, Indiana
 

“UNGH!” Wendy grunted, her arms pinwheeling as she landed in the grass, having taken the last three steps in one leap.  She nearly fell, but kept her balance, turning to find her daughter, lying fifty feet away on the grass, screaming in pain and terror as she was savaged by the puppy that had been brought home two months ago.  The puppy WEndy had never wanted- had WARNED her husband against, only to be treated like a Cassandra.  And now…

Well, there was no way they’d be keeping it now.  Not after this savagery… 

“Fireball, stop!”  Wendy yelled, sprinting across the lawn towards her daughter.  “STOP!  GET AWAY!  FIREBALL, NO!  GET A-”

But Wendy’s voice trailed off as she neared the commotion.  Theresa was down on the ground screaming, but not from being savaged.  Near as Wendy could tell… she was unharmed.  And Fireball was barking and snarling savagely, but had her tail towards Theresa, facing the other way.  Barking at the same spot Theresa’s eyes were fixated on… a dark coil of rope in the grass not five feet away. 

No, not a rope, Wendy realized as she got even closer.

“Oh... shit….” 

Neither she nor her daughter noticed the profanity that had slipped from her mouth.  Both were staring at the coil, which ever so slightly slithered and unwound.  It was a snake, and judging by the faint rattling sound coming from it as it beadily eyed the dog threatening it, not a benign one.  

She had to get Theresa away from there.  Now. 

Without taking her eyes from the venemous reptile, she reached down and grabbed her daughter’s wrist, pulling back as hard as she could to drag the eight year old away. 

“OW!”  Theresa protested at the sudden pulling on her shoulder as she was dragged back ten feet.   “That hurt.” 

“Are you okay?” Wendy asked, only now daring to take her eyes of the snake as she more gently helped Theresa to her feet.  “Did it bite you?” 

“No.” Theresa said, although she was trembling- most likely from fear.  “Mom, Fireball is…” 

“Are you sure?” her tone was more forceful this time, almost demanding, as she visually inspected her daughter for any sign of being bitten.  “Because if you’re hurt, we need to…” 

“Mom, I’m POSITIVE.  I haven’t been bitten!” Theresa protested adamantly.  “But Fireball-” 

“Theresa, listen to me,” Wendy demanded, cutting her daughter’s plea off.  I want you to run up to the garage, grab the hoe, and bring it back down here as fast as you can, okay?” 

“But what about…” 

“DON’T ARGUE!”  Wendy snapped, with so much force she surprised herself.  She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself- it worked marginally- “We don’t have time.  Please, go up and grab the hoe, okay?” 

Theresa looked as if she wanted to protest again, but thought better of it.  With one last desperate look at the barking dog, she turned and ran around the side of the house, as fast as her eight year old legs could carry her. 

Wendy turned her attention back to the snake, which was still watching Fireball, bobbing its head back and forth with the dogs movement as the goldendoodle continued to bark and snarl at it.  Good, Wendy realized.  If the snake was so fixated on the dog, maybe she could move around… 

Slowly, she sidestepped, trying to move in as wide a berth around as she could, and get behind the snake.  It had to be an Eastern Massasagua, near as she could tell.  Those were the only rattlesnakes found in Indiana, right?  She wasn’t sure… she was no expert on snakes, but she’d been to reptile house at the Indianapolis zoo a few times.

Either way, she had never heard of a poisonous snake in Pike Creek before.  Brown recluses, black widows, fire ants, and rabid fruitbats had plagued one house or another over the years, but never had she ever heard her neighbors talk about snakes, or seen one herself.  And what was it doing up here anyways?  They were over a half-mile from the creek.  Didn’t snakes live by water?  Had it slithered up the stormdrain.  

It ultimately didn’t matter in the end, she figured.  She had to get rid of this thing, and for that, she needed Theresa to come back.   And hope the stalemate between the snake and Fireball wasn’t broken in the meantime, and the snake escaped or- even worse, turned on her. 

After what seemed like an eternity (but in actuality hadn’t been more than a couple of minutes, Theresa came back around the corner of the house, holding the hoe awkwardly, the pole far too long for her small frame to effectively hold.  Still, Wendy breathed a sigh of relief at the gardening tool that should hopefully prove to be their salvation.  

“Go wide,” Wendy hissed, trying to keep her voice from getting too high lest she draw reptillian attention to herself.  She beckoned for Theresa to swing to the outside of her, away from the snake.  Luckily, the little girl obeyed, and held out the hoe for Wendy to take.  

“Thanks.” Wendy said, brandishing the tool.  “Now step back.  Back, Theresa!” She repeated when her daughter balked.  She waved for her to take a couple more steps back.  She wanted her out of the way to where she didn’t have to worry about her.  She needed all her focus for what she was about to do. 

Lightly, Wendy crept the fifteen or so feet between her and the snake, doing the best she could to not startle it and turn it on her.  Luckily, the viper’s attention was still held by Fireball, head bobbing as it watched the dog. 

Finally, she was in range.   She hoped. 

“AIIIIIIIIIIIIEAAAAAAAAAAAH!”  Wendy screamed as she swung the hoe with all her might, smashing it down blade first onto the snake.  She was rewarded with a disgusting squishing and crunching sound, and leapt back as the animal began to writhe furiously, the rattle noise growing as it thrashed angrily.  Slowly, the snake began to turn towards her, its mobility severely hampered by the wound she already gave it.  She raised the hoe again, this time looking more for precision instead of power, aiming for just behind its head. 

“HYIAH!”  she grunted again as the hoe came down again, connecting perfectly and severing the snake’s head with another disgusting squishcrunch sound. 

“Oh, God…”  Wendy groaned, disgusted by the sight of the severed snakes head lying on the side in the grass, as the body continued to spasm.  She looked down at the hoe in her hands, unable to hold back a resigned grin.  All the girls in the Ultraviolence division would have been impressed with the way she had swung that! 

“Got it!” Wendy said, looking back over her shoulder at her hopefully impressed daughter.   She reached out the hoe again, hooking it under the spasming decapitated snake body.  With a heave, she tossed it into a small rockbed that housed a hydrangea bush.  Terrence could take care of that later. 

“Fireball!  Fireball!  Oh, Fireball!”   She heard her daughter exclaiming as her daughter ran around her, kneeling in the grass and embracing the dog.  “Did you see that, Mom?   Fireball saw the snake, and realized I was geting too close, so she knocked me down and protected me!” 

Wendy looked back to her daughter, somewhat surprised at what she was hearing.  But it had to be true.  It explained why she had gone for Theresa’s legs- to knock her down and keep her from running into the snake, and give her a chance to get between.  “She did, yes…”  Wendy admitted.  

“Oh, Fireball, good girl Fireball!”  Theresa said, squeezing the puppy, and scratching her ear.  “You saved me from that nasty evil snake!”  Fireball only happily wagged her tail, licking Theresa’s face.  

No, it wasn’t just her tail wagging, Wendy realized.  Somehow, Fireball was wagging her whole body, which was causing her to make a squeaking sound.  No… that wasn’t right… she wasn’t wagging… she was tremblinig.  And it didn’t take long for both Wendy and her daughter to realize that the squeaking sound was the dog whimpering.  

“Fireball?  What’s wrong?  What is it?  Fireball?” 

Fireball looked up at Theresa, the puppy’s big brown eyes locking onto Theresa’s green ones.  She gave one more lick of the girl’s face, and even Wendy could see every last ounce of affection Fireball had in her had gone into it.

And then the puppy collapsed onto the grass, turning on its side, continuing to whimper and tremble, her breathing now labored. 

“Oh God…” Wendy whispered, her blood running cold as she saw the two puncture marks on the dog’s chest, just above the leg, blood slowly trickling out, matting in the dog’s shaggy fur. 

“Fireball?  Fireball? FIREBALL!  MOM!  FIREBALL! HELP HER!   FIREBALL!  NO!!!!!!!!!!!” 

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