Saturday February 5, 2011
Terrence’s Charger on Rodeo Drive
Los Angeles, California
11:57 AM Local Time
“What? You’re not entering?”
It was a good thing we were stopped at a red light. Otherwise, I probably would have rammed my Charger into the back of the Porsche 911 that we were behind. I was too busy staring at my wife in shock over the announcement she had just made.
“Pollaski and I were talking about it this morning. It’s simply a matter of having too much on my plate. I’m already a tag champion, and I’m about to compete for the X3W World Championship. Why push my luck?”
I nodded in agreement, but I could tell that Wendy was saying the words with difficulty. It wasn’t like her to throw away a grand opportunity, especially one that would grant her a shot at something like the Undisputed Panda title. But there was resolve in her voice as well, and I knew that Wendy wouldn’t have made a decision like this without careful consideration.
The blaring cacophony of a half-dozen horns behind me made me look up. The light was green, and the 911 was already about two hundred yards away. “Shit!” I barked, ramming my foot on the gas so hard the rear tires squealed in protest. Wendy made no comment on my lack of concentration, just looked out the window as the sights of Rodeo Drive passed by.
“Wait, why are you talking to Pollaski about this, and not me?” I finally asked.
“Because Pollaski’s my manager, and you’re not.” Wendy looked over at me and shrugged. “Besides, what would you have said? Would you have encouraged me, or tried to talk me out of it?”
I thought about it for several seconds. “I don’t know,” I finally confessed.
“That’s why I didn’t talk to you,” Wendy replied with a soft smile. “On one hand, removing me from the match would give you a much better chance at winning the battle royal. On the other hand, I know you don’t want me sacrificing my career for the sake of yours. I didn’t want to stick you with that dilemma.”
“Well, yeah, but now that my tag team partner is out of the match, I’m going to have to do all the work,” I said, shooting my wife a grin to let her know that I was kidding. In truth, I was impressed by how much thought Wendy had put into all this. I probably shouldn’t have been- Wendy rarely made a decision without carefully considering the consequences.
Wendy smiled back at my joke, then shrugged. “Well with me out of the match, there’s no one any good left to oppose you, so congratulations.”
The sarcasm was evident in my wife’s voice, and her tone carried a measure of rebuke as well. “Not quite,” I said, grinning. “I still gotta win the thing.”
“But you said...”
“I know what I said,” I interrupted, waving my right arm in dismissal. “But you know me better than anyone else in the world, hon. Am I ever overconfident? Do I ever just go into a match, expecting everything to be handed to me? Do I not earn every victory through my own sweat and blood?”
“I know,” Wendy replied, sighing. “But sometimes, you come off a little... arrogant.”
I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help myself. I risked another glance at my wife and saw that she was definitely miffed. I forced myself to stop laughing, and looked over at Wendy. “Sorry for laughing, but how the hell am I arrogant? Because I know that I’m good?”
“I think that’s the definition of arrogant...” Wendy replied.
“No, that’s the definition of self-confidence. These wrestling companies, they want us to sit in front of a goddamn camera and give our opinions of the match. If I’m gonna plop my butt down and open my wordhole, I’m gonna be honest. If I were to face every single fucking person in CPW ten times each, I’d beat every single one of them at least seven or eight times out of those ten. I’m sorry if it sounds like bragging, but that’s the way I feel about it. And if the locker room doesn’t like it, they can prove me wrong.”
“Am I included in that?” Wendy asked quietly.
I paused for another second, then broke into a grin. “Nah, you and I could go five and five, easily.”
Wendy smiled, then pulled on her left arm, trying to stretch muscles that were cramping from sitting in the car for a while. “Well, I’m glad you at least have respect for me.”
I snorted, and shook my head again. “I respect people hon. I’m well aware that on any given match, any person in that match can come away with a win, no matter how unlikely it seems on paper. I’ve been on both sides of the coin on that. And when people DO beat me, I give them props.” I broke into another grin. “Its just, THAT never happens, so no ever sees me eating humble pie.”
Wendy shook her head, although she couldn’t help but smile herself. “Terrence Thompson, you are incorrigible.”
“Yeah, I know,” I said, still grinning at her. “But you still love me.”
“I do,” Wendy sighed, then pointed ahead. “I’d love you even more if you didn’t ram us into the back of that Porsche...”
“What? Oh, FUCK!” I screamed as I saw the 911 stopped several feet ahead. I slammed on the breaks, and Wendy shrieked as she was pitched forward, being caught by her seatbelt. Luckily, the high quality brake discs on my car did their job, and my Charger came to a stop inches from the Porsche’s bumper. The recoil slammed Wendy back into her seat, thankfully not giving her whiplash. I looked over at her and grinned. “Oops.”
“Thank God you wrestle better than you drive,” Wendy remarked, looking back out the window.
“Ouch,” I muttered, focusing my attention on the red light across the intersection. Nice girl she might be, but Wendy sure knew how to kick a guy where it hurt.
===============================
Saturday February 5, 2011
The RV- Main Cabin
Santa Monica, California
6:10 PM Local Time
[We open our scene in the main cabin of the Birdz’ RV. Wendy Briese is sitting on the sofa, reading this week’s edition of the National Review, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the camera has just turned on. From the right hand side, Terrence walks in, sitting down next to Wendy. Terrence is holding what appears to be a bottle of pills. He opens the cap, and pours a couple into his hands, before chewing (yes, chewing) and swallowing them. He then thrusts the bottle at Wendy, who looks up, wondering why she just had a small white pill bottle shoved in her face.]
Wendy Briese: “Yes, Terry?”
Terrence Thompson: [sounding like he’s reciting memorized lines] “Wendy, these Cherrybombs are giving me a headache with all thier rambling! I’m sure you must feel the same way!”
[Wendy looks at her husband, obviously completely lost. She then looks at the bottle in her husbands hands]
Wendy: “Terrence, these are Theresa’s Flintstones vitamins.”
[Terrence suddenly looks irritated, and he mouths at Wendy to ‘play along’. Wendy stares at her husband like he’s an alien, before turning back to her magazine. Terrence, desperate now, tries again]
Terrence: “Are you sure, hon? I know the annoying buzzing of Haley Dark and Belladonna have to be pounding in your head as well!”
[Wendy doesn’t even look up]
Wendy: “Terry, if you have that bad of a headache, there’s some Ibuprofin in the cupboard above the fridge. Honestly, I don’t see how you missed it when you grabbed the vitamins.”
[Terrence, now utterly defeated that Wendy’s not playing along, gets up from the couch, and the scene fades]
=========================
Saturday February 5, 2011
The RV- Main Cabin
Santa Monica, California
6:17 PM Local Time
[Scene opens up again, Wendy’s still on the couch, reading her magazine. Terrence sits down again, next to her, and for a second, just sits there. Suddenly, he makes a grab at the air, then another, as if trying to catch something. This action makes Wendy look up from her magazine, and over at her husband. Terrence merely grins back at her, and Wendy, shaking her head, turns her attention back to her magazine. Terrence makes another couple grabs, then gets up from the couch]
[He returns a couple minutes later, this time holding a fly swatter. He takes a few swings at the air, but doesn’t seem to hit anything. He begins flailing the fly swatter about, the actions again driving Wendy to distraction from her magazine, and she looks up.]
Wendy: “Terrence, what are you-”
*WHAP!*
[Right in the kisser, Alice!]
[Wendy bleats in pain, and holds her hand to her mouth, as Terrence looks positively mortified at what he did.]
Terrence: “Oh God! Wendy, are you okay? I’m so sorry... I didn’t.. that was completely an accident.”
[Wendy, with the hand not clutching her mouth, shoves her husband away]
Wendy: “Terrence Andrew Thompson, what the HELL are you doing?”
[Middle name came out. She’s pissed]
Terrence: [stammering] “I was... just... I...”
[Wendy, thankfully not bleeding, looks over at her husband, angrily awaiting an explanation]
Terrence: “I was just saying how the Cherrybombs are like annoying flies buzzing around my head.”
Wendy: “And to do that, you needed to hit me with THIS?”
[Wendy rips the fly swatter out of her husbands hands]
Terrence: “Well, that was an accident. I was trying to be dramatic.”
Wendy: “I’LL SHOW YOU DRAMATIC!”
*WHAP!*
[So much for refusing to use weapons, eh?]
Terrence: “OW! That hurts!”
Wendy: “Oh, really? It hurts? YOU THINK, TERRENCE?”
*WHAP! WHAP!*
[Terrence tries to fend off the blows, and backs away from the irate redhead, but Wendy bears down on him as he backs out of the picture]
Terrence: [from off camera]“Okay, I’m sorry but- [*WHAP!*] there’s really no need to- [*WHAP!*] You know, that’s kinda hot... [*WHAP!*] Okay, that’s not- [*WHAP!*] Look, I’m sorry, okay? [*WHAP!*] Okay, stop! [*WHAP!*] You’ve made your point-[*WHAP!*] Okay, this is starting to be domestic abuse [*WHAP!*] Please? [*WHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPHWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAP!*] STOP IT!”
[The scene cuts out as Wendy continues to beat her husband with the flyswatter]
======================================
Saturday February 5, 2011
The RV- Main Cabin
Santa Monica, California
6:32 PM Local Time
[Okay, we’re gonna try this one more time.]
[Wendy’s back on the sofa, although no longer reading the magazine. Terrence is sitting to her left (our right), looking pretty sore, with several red welts on his face. Wendy looks at her husband with a mixture of irritation and amusement. Terrence, for his part, won’t dare to meet Wendy’s eye]
Terrence: “You know, hon, these Cherrybombs are really starting to get on my nerves.”
[Wendy looks over at her husband?]
Wendy: “Really, Terrence? I have absolutely NO idea what that would be like.”
[Ouch]
Terrence: “Look, I’m sorry, okay?”
[Wendy shrugs]
Wendy: “And I already forgave you, hon.”
[Terrence grimaces.]
Terrence: “Yeah, you ‘forgave’ me like twenty-five times.”
Wendy: “Thirty-four times. But I don’t blame you for losing count.”
[Terrence sighs]
Wendy: “Anyways, the Cherrybombs?”
[The mauled patriarch of the Thompson clan perks up just a bit]
Terrence: “Right, them. All that twirling and rhyming and randomness and... well dear god. It’s like Dr. fuggin’ Seuss cut a promo on us.”
[Wendy smiles]
Wendy: “I thought it was cute.”
[Pause]
Terrence: “Cute? There’s no room for CUTE in pro wrestling!”
[Wendy’s going to totally beg to differ on that.]
Wendy: “I’m going to totally beg to differ on that.”
[Told you. Anyways, Terrence isn’t really in the mood to argue the point.]
Terrence: “I mean, it wouldn’t be so damned annoying if Belladonna and Hayley Dark had a clue what they were talking about, but alas, as seems to be the case around here, they don’t.
[Wendy shrugs. She actually kind of agrees with her husbands assessment here]
Terrence: “First of all, I’m going to make this really clear. I don’t overlook ANYONE. I’ve been in this business long enough to know that you can’t afford to. I didn’t get this far in my career by just assuming my opponents are going to roll over and die for me, and I sure as hell have benefited from upsets a couple of times myself.”
[Terrence shrugs, and continues]
Terrence: “You think that someone as perceptive Belladonna and Hayley Dark would have figured that out. Wendy over there weighs one-thirty on the average, and she’s beaten the hell out of more people larger than her than I can count. You think I’m dumb enough to assume that these two can’t do the same?”
[Wendy smiles just a tad, probably because she just beat the hell out of Terrence]
Terrence: “If you guys, or anyone else, wants to think that I’m arrogant, that’s your call. Believe whatever the hell you want to believe. Personally, I view it as confidence. I know that Wendy and I can beat the Cherrybombs, just as I know that I can win the battle royal, or the Undisputed Panda Championship, or anything else under the sun. If you wanna hate me for thinking that, its your prerogative.”
[For just a second, Terrence looks really, truly, irritated]
Terrence: “Now, as far ‘biting the hand that feeds us, please. I have no problem with Camilla Pazzini, and near as I can tell, she’s the one who signed us to CPW, and she’s the one who stuck us in the match. If you want to be bitter that we took the opportunity that was given to us, and made the most of it, then go ahead. The fact is, the both of you were in that match, and neither of you could pull it off. We did.”
[Terrence, reaches out, and lightly smacks Wendy on the shoulder.]
Wendy: “What?”
[Terrence shrugs]
Terrence: “I’m tagging you in. Its your turn.”
[Wendy folds her arms across her chest]
Wendy: “Terrence, that’s AMAZINGLY stupid.”
[Terrence only shrugs]
Terrence: “Well, go with it. We don’t have much time.”
[Wendy shrugs in return, and turns towards the camera]
Wendy: “I too think that the Cherrybombs have gotten a bit of a misinterpretation of what we’re about. They acknowledge that we’re veterans, that we’re two of the better teams in this sport, and yet, they automatically assume that because my husband likes to talk a big game, we’re going to make some rookie mistakes.”
[Terrence smirks, but Wendy doesn’t seem to notice]
Wendy: “First of all, I know Hayley Dark doesn’t have the accolades her partner does, but considering that I’ve spent my whole career being regarded as the second-fiddle on my own team, you think I’m going to write her off because of that? Hardly. I’d actually love to see Hayley break out into singles competitions as well, and really show what she can do. Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to be so eager to do that here.”
Terrence: “Or even talk much. I noticed Belladonna pretty much did all the talking there...”
[Wendy pauses, then shrugs. Its not her place to judge]
Wendy: “Second, do the Cherrybombs really have that little regard for us, where they think we can’t improvise in a match? It was once said that those who are good make plans, but the great ones know when to abandon those plans. I’d like to think that Terrence and I are pretty great at what we do. Like anyone, whether its pro wrestling, football, basketball, or even baseball, you have to be prepared to adjust. Terrence and I can adjust as well as anybody.”
[Terrence nods his agreement, as Wendy continues]
Wendy: “I’m not entering the battle royal, because I wanted to focus on this match, and my upcoming title shot in X3W. I know how important this match is, as does my husband. We hardly proved anything when we won the tag titles, and now its our chance to start proving that we truly are the best team in CPW.”
[Wendy breaks in a smile]
Wendy: “And I, for one, am hoping that we can live up to the challenge.”
[Terrence chuckles, and looks over at his wife]
Terrence: “You know, Wendy. It’s fitting that the Cherrybombs mentioned the word ‘doom’ no less than thirty-nine times in their first promo. You know why?”
[Wendy rolls her eyes at the inevitably cheesy line.]
Wendy: “Because they meet their doom on Monday?”
Terrence: “Damn right. Because who dat think they better than the WhirlyBirdz?”
[Wendy shakes her head in amusement and exasperation, then finally sighs]
Wendy: “Who ‘dat’?”
[Fade]
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