Friday February 4, 2011
The Cheesecake Factory- Dining Room
Beverly Hills, California
7:21 PM Local Time
Cassie DeSlair: “And I’ll have the fettuccine Alfredo, light on the sauce please.”
[Ah, The Cheesecake Factory.]
[Very little in the world can stand up to the dining experience in one of these restaurants, with the wide varitiy of menu options, excessively generous portions, and of course, in the miraculous event that one has room at the end, the Cheesecake. In short, it’s a perfect venue for the Thompson family and friends to be spending their dinner this evening.]
[And that’s where we open the scene, with the five members of Terrence and Wendy’s entourage sitting around a table, with the camera placed at one end. To the left, nearest the camera, sits Cassie DeSlair, Wendy’s friend, and the Birdz travel-along babysitter. Next to her sits the patriarch of the Thompson clan, Terrence himself, surprisingly in a very nice buttoned shirt (which Wendy probably made him wear). On the right, nearest to the camera, is Terrence and Wendy’s daughter, the ever adorable Theresa, who’s showing more interest in the coloring book in front of her than anything else. Wendy sits next to her, a tad further away]
[And of course, at the head of the table is none other than the WhirlyBirdz manager himself, Daniel Pollaski, his ever-present Hawaiian shirt today in a blue and gold motif. Pollaski is handing the last of the menus to the waiter, who smiles at the quintet, then turns and walks off. Wendy turns to her husband.]
Wendy Briese: “This was a good idea for a place to eat, hon. I love the Cheesecake Factory.”
[Terrence merely shrugs at his wife’s compliment]
Terrence Thompson: “Well, I doubt any of us feel like cooking in the RV tonight, and we can’t eat at McDonalds and Taco Bell EVERY night, so why not-”
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*
[Terrence is cut off in midsentence by the banging of a gavel on the table. Terrence, Wendy, and Cassie turn immediately to Pollaski, all three looking rather astonished as Pollaski sets the wooden hammer on the table]
Cassie: “What-”
Wendy: “-the-”
Terrence: “-HELL did you do that for?”
[Pollaski waves his hands pompously, as if beginning to make a speech]
Daniel Pollaski: “Order, order! I hereby call this team meeting of the WhirlyBirdz Vehicular Hit Squad into session!”
[Stunned silence meets this proclamation, as Terrence, Wendy, and Cassie all exchange glances. Theresa, of course, has her nose shoved in that coloring book.]
Terrence: “Team meet-on-the-what-now?”
Wendy: “We’re just having dinner.”
Cassie: “Although that does explain the camera.”
[Cassie points to the camera at the end of the table, and Terrence and Wendy look over at it briefly as well]
Terrence: “Yeah, I was gonna ask about that...”
[Pollaski shrugs]
Pollaski: “Well, I figured it’d be a nice change of pace from the normal sit down in front of a camera and talk smack interview. You know, give everyone an insight into how the WhirlyBirdz prepare for the matches.”
[Another pause]
Cassie: “So why are Theresa and I here?”
[Wendy smiles]
Wendy: “You’re part of this team too, Cass. You don’t wrestle, but if you didn’t watch Theresa while Terrence and I were training and competing, we couldn’t do this. Besides, we’re still having a nice family dinner, even if it IS being recorded.”
Pollaski: “Yeah, and besides, no one’s ever gone wrong shoving a good-looking blond in front of a camera.”
[Cassie’s eyes narrow]
Cassie: “So you essentially view me as eye-candy?”
Pollaski: “Well, your words, but... yeah, pretty much.”
[Suddenly indignant, both Wendy and Cassie begin talking at once, while Terrence leans back in his chair, eager to be out of the way of the brewing argument. Pollaski looks fairly nonchalant at the two angry females rebuking him, and calmly grabs the gavel again.]
*BANG!*
[Silence reigns for a second, although at some of the tables in the background, several other diners are looking over at the Birdz’ table, some looking rather annoyed]
Pollaski: “Anyways, it’s time to focus. That Four-Store War was a mess of a match, but you came out of there the winners-”
Terrence: “Well, Wendy did. I didn’t do much.”
[Wendy, suddenly exasperated, looks back over at her husband, rolling her eyes.]
Wendy: “Terry, how many times have I told you? It didn’t matter which of us got the pin, or did the most damage. We’re a team, and we win as a team.”
[Wendy’s staring fiercely, althought not exactly angrily, at her husband, and there’s a long awkward pause. The ever talkative Pollaski, of course, is the one to break the spell]
Pollaski: “Gotta say, Wendy’s right. It wasn’t pretty, but you guys did what you set out to do, and you got the win. So now, you’re SEVEN-time Tag Team Champions, not to mention still undefeated since returning to wrestling last ye-”
Wendy: “Wait.. didn’t we lose our last match in PWX?”
[Another long, uncomfortable pause]
Pollaski: “Yeah... that was because you got crammed in an eight-man cluster-you-know-what and got stuck with those idiots in Global Revolution as your partners.”
Wendy: “But still...”
[Pollaski interrupts her before she can continue, waving his hand.]
Pollaski: “Look, make of it what you will, but the fact of the matter is, you guys have once again established yourself as one of the most dominant tag teams in the sport today. The question is, where do we go from here?”
[Both Terrence and Wendy look at each other, and Terrence shrugs. Wendy looks back over at Pollaski]
Wendy: “Well, from what I heard, Double Dragon was probably going to be the first challengers, but now that they’re gone, that leaves the door wide open.”
Terrence: “Well, I’m hearing some stuff about this Sin City Syndicate. I’d wager they knock of Steely Vengeance, which would immediately put them at the front of the pecking order.”
Wendy: “I don’t know, hon. I wouldn’t rule out Steely Vengeance. Tough Eagle nearly got me in that match. But if the Cherrybombs can beat us nontitle this week, they’ll be the clear frontrunners.”
[Pollaski nods in agreement with Wendy’s assessment.]
Pollaski: “And that brings us to the purpose of this meeting. The Cherrybombs.”
Cassie: “You think they’d be better off if they spelled their name like you do. You know, the CherryBombz?”
[Another long, uncomfortable pause as everyone else stares at Cassie. Wendy looks amused, although Terrence looks annoyed, even angry.]
Terrence: “Okay, you know what? We came up with that name back in 2001. It was COOL then, okay? And we can’t bloody go around changing it now!”
[Not really, but saying that it was the brainstorm of an 19 year old kid on three hours of sleep and running out of time until the application was due is even more embarrassing.]
Cassie: “Sorry, I was just joking.”
[Terrence shrugs, as if to say ‘no big deal’. Everyone looks over at Wendy, who’s no longer amused. In fact, she’s looking at the table, her eyes downcast.]
Terrence: “What, hon?”
Wendy: “I... I LIKE our name...”
[She would.]
*BANG!*
[Gavel, yo]
Pollaski: “Okay, getting off track again. We need to focus on beating the Cherrybombs.”
Terrence: [chuckling] “Easy. Step on ‘em.”
[Pollaski chuckles, but Wendy doesn’t even look anywhere near amused.]
Wendy: “Belladonna isn’t the Undisputed Panda for nothing, Terry. Both she and Hayley might be small, but they’re insanely fast, and they’re also tough as nails. Hayley took some serious punishment in that Four-Store War, and she kept on going almost until the end. They’re stronger than they look, and they’re almost freakishly acrobatic.”
[Pollaski again nods in agreement with Wendy’s assessment.]
Pollaski: “Yeah, both women, especially Belladonna, are accomplished parkours, and they can use their skills in that discipline to help their mobility in the ring.”
[Wendy suddenly, looks over at Pollaski, her eyebrows narrowed in confusion.]
Wendy: “Sorry, but I keep hearing that word. What is a ‘parkour?”’
[Both Pollaski and Cassie open their mouths to respond, but stop when Terrence bursts out laughing. He quickly reaches into his pocket, and pulls out his Droid. He quickly types something in on the screen, and slides it across the table to his wife]
Terrence: “Here you go, hon. This is what Pollaski’s talking about.”
[Wendy picks up the phone, and stares at it, looking fairly impressed for several seconds. Then, on the phone’s audio, a scream can be heard, followed by a sickening thud. Wendy cringes, and hands the phone back to Terrence, looking rather disgusted]
Wendy: “Why would ANYONE want to do that?”
[Pollaski chuckles, and shakes his head]
Pollaski: “Well, the good ones manage to do that stuff without faceplanting on the concrete. Parkour is one of those activities where the people who are in it for the long term are really good, or really really dumb.”
Terrence: “So which one is Belladonna?”
Wendy: “Given that she doesn’t look like she’s fallen off of about sixty different buildings, I’m going to go with her being a really good parkour.”
Cassie: “Traceur.”
[Another brief pause. As the Birdz look over at their nanny, the waiter silently slips in and drops a basket of bread on the table, not interrupting the conversation.]
Terrence: “Bless you?”
[Cassie shakes her head]
Cassie: “Practitioners of parkour are called traceurs. Anyways, from what it sounds like, this Belladonna girl is likely more into free-running than parkour, since she’s more flashy and competitive. Its a similar, but different style that emphasizes more on tricks and aesthetics in the movements, instead of the pure efficiency that’s emphasized in Parko...”
[Cassie stops talking as she realizes that everyones staring at her like she’s crazy. She suddenly becomes very interested in getting putter on a slice of pumpernickel.]
Cassie: “Sorry. I got a little geeky there.”
[Wendy smiles reassuringly]
Wendy: “No, you’re fine. Just, how do you know so much about it?”
[Cassie shrugs]
Cassie: “I had a boyfriend who was REALLY into that stuff. Of course, there wasn’t a wall he could climb or a roof he could jump to get away from me after I came home and found him with my roomate...”
[Cassie’s voice is tinged with bitterness, and both Wendy and Terrence look at her uncomfortably, not entirely sure what to say. Pollaski knows what to do, however.]
*BANG!*
[Needless to say, that gavel is starting to get on people’s nerves]
Pollaski: “Well, anyways, I think that you guys are missing the most dangerous aspect of the Cherrybombs. All that resiliency and bouncing off the walls doesn’t mean jack if you don’t have the energy to do it, and THAT is what makes these two so dangerous. It’s like little nuclear reactors have been installed in them or something.”
[Terrence shrugs]
Terrence: “So all we need to do is get those reactors into a meltdown. Why is it that small people like that have so much energy anyways?”
Wendy: “Great metabolism, I’m sure...”
[Pollaski nods again, but reaches for something under the table.]
Pollaski: “I’m sure metabolism has something to do with it. But I think the real reason Belladonna is so energetic is... THIS.”
[Pollasi sets a bottle, filled with a red liquid on the table. Everyone else stares at it curiously.]
Wendy: “What is this?”
Pollaski: “This... is cherryade.”
[Dun dun DUUUUUUN!]
[Seriously, not a common drink in America]
Pollaski: [shoving the bottle at Wendy] “Go on, try it, you big wuss.”
[Wendy stares at the bottle as if she’s never seen a soft-drink before in her life. Finally, uncertainly, she unscrews the cap, and takes a swig. She immediately begins choking and sputtering, setting the bottle back on the table.]
Wendy: “S....s....sweet!!!!”
[Wendy chokes a couple more times, then dives at her water to wash the taste of cherryade out of her mouth. Terrence, looking at Wendy with concern, picks up the bottle of the liquid and sets it at the end of the table, just out of the view of the camera.]
Pollaski: [who’s naturally acting like Wendy didn’t just choke to death in front of him] “See, that stuff is so chock full of sugar, no wonder they’re always energetic.”
Wendy: [still a little raspy from coughing] “I think I’m diabetic now...”
Terrence: “Great, so essentially we’re fighting two undersized girls who are perenially hyper due to a massive sugar intake. It’s like we’ve become villains in an anime or something.”
*BANG!*
[Everyone looks over at Pollaski, Terrence definitely more annoyed than the others.]
Terrence: “Okay, give me the gavel, dude.”
[Pollaski shakes his head in defiance]
Pollaski: “No. We’re getting off track. This helps us focus.”
Terrence: “No, this irritates us. This makes us want to kill you.”
[Surprisingly, Pollaski actually beams at that prospect]
Pollaski: “Great! Take that aggression and use it to beat the Cherrybombs!”
[For a second, Terrence looks mollified. Then he lunges for the gavel, but Pollaski won’t let go. For a second, the two wrestle for the gavel.]
Pollaski: “Dude...chill... out!”
Terrence: “Give...me...the...GAVEL!”
[With one roar of exertion, Terrence rips the gavel out of Pollaski’s hands. However, as he does so, he knocks over Wendy’s water. Wendy leaps to her feet with a shriek, knocking over her chair. The waiter quickly rushes over, and hands Wendy a napkin, who immediately begins to dab the water on the front of her skirt, all the while angrily looking at Terrence and Pollaski.]
Wendy: [hissing] “Could you two start acting like ADULTS?”
[By now, their entire secton of the restaurant is staring at them. Wendy turns red from embarrassment, and, after thanking the waiter for his help cleaning up the spill, she quickly sits back in her chair, glaring daggers at her husband and manager. Terrence responds with a sheepish grin, while Pollaski sits stone-faced, pretending nothing is going on. Wendy fumes for a second, then puts on the widest, most phony smile she can manage]
Wendy: “I believe we were discussing our match?”
[Pollaski takes that as his cue to proceed, and quickly does so.]
Pollaski: “Well, any ideas on how to defuse the Cherrybombs?”
[For a second, everyone pauses and considers this question, even Cassie, who suffers from a clear lack of wrestling knowledge]
Terrence: “The legs.”
[Everyone looks over at Terrence, who shrugs]
Terrence: “Look, I don’t think there’s any doubt that if I were to stand toe to toe with either Hayley or Belladonna, I’d turn them into hamburger. They have to know that too, so they’re gonna be bouncing all over the place like hot air molecules. They can’t do all that flippy crap if we take their legs out.”
[Wendy, who also does that ‘flippy crap’, albeit to a lesser extent, grimaces, but she nods in agreement]
Wendy: “You’re right. If we can force them to lose that speed advantage, things will be much easier for us. Let me start the match, Terry. I have a better chance at keeping up with them than you would, and I know how to wear down people’s ability to move.”
[Terrence grins]
Terrence: “Just like demo derbies. Doesn’t matter how good your engine is, if your wheels are broken, you’re a sitting duck.”
[Cassie clears her throat, causing the rest of the table to look at her.]
Wendy: “What’s up, Cass?”
Cassie: “Well, you realize you just broadcasted your entire gameplan to the world?”
[Both Terrence and Wendy start laughing, and shake their heads]
Wendy: “Not really. We just said what we’re going to try and do. They don’t know how we’re going to go about doing it. I mean, there’s several different ways you can wear a leg down... submission holds, kicking, repeated dragon screws...”
Terrence: “Trust us, Cassie. Both Wendy and I are pretty creative when we’re in that ring. The Cherrybombs will be surprised indeed when they see what’s coming. We’re not dumb enough to put all our cards on the table three days before the match even happens.”
[Cassie nods, and smiles, appeased by her friends reassurances. Pollaski opens his mouth to say something else, but...]
*BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!*
Theresa Thompson: “ORDER! ORDER!”
[Everyone (and we mean EVERYONE) looks at Theresa, who’s gotten ahold of the gavel, and is doing her best Pollaski interpretation. Wendy glances from her, to the now-empty bottle of cherryade, and her face pales]
Wendy: “Oh no...”
*BANG!*
[Wendy grabs the gavel from her daughter’s hands, and tries hushing the suddenly wired four-year old.]
Wendy: [hissing] “Theresa, behave yourself! Do you want us to get kicked-”
Waiter: “Excuse me, ma’am?”
Wendy: “-out?”
[Both Wendy and Cassie turn beet red from embarrassment as they look up to see the waiter standing above them, the most insincere smile ever plastered across his face]
Waiter: “I’m sorry, but we’ve received several complaints about you and your party. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
[Terrence scoffs, thumping his chest]
Terrence: “You know who you’re freakin’ dealing with, boy? You better bring the whole kitchen staff out, because we ain’t goin til our bellies are FULL!”
[Another moment of silence, where everyone looks at Terrence, Wendy especially looks like she’s about to fling the gavel at her husband’s head. Terrence gets the hint.]
Terrence: “Alright, we’ll go. Come on, Theresa.”
[Terrence picks his child up out of her seat, and starts carrying her out of the restaurant. Cassie, looking embarrassed and crestfallen, picks up her coat and purse and follows. Wendy, looking absolutely humiliated, turns towards the waiter.]
Wendy: “Look, I’m really, really sorry about this. I don’t know what...”
[Wendy’s voice trails off as she sees the waiter is flashing her that same vacant, insincere smile.]
Wendy: “Um, look, we’re really hungry, and I’m sure our food is almost ready. Is there anyway you could box that food up and we take it to go?”
Waiter: “I’m sorry ma’am. Store policy says that-”
Wendy: “I’ll give you a fifty percent tip.”
[Wendy thrusts her credit card at the waiter, who takes it without a second thought.]
Waiter: “Please wait outside.”
[The waiter briskly walks off, leaving Wendy and Pollaski alone at the table. Around them, the rest of the restaurant is returning to their normal conversation. Wendy’s turns to grab her coat, and is reminded about the camera.]
Wendy: “Oh, God. Everyone’s going to see this. Why couldn’t they have just-”
Pollaski: “They?”
[Pollaski claps Wendy on the shoulder as he walks by, a smug smirk on his face]
Pollaski: “Wendy, how many times have I told you? It doesn’t matter which of us made the most noise, or pissed off the post people. We’re a team, and we get kicked out of restaurants as a team.”
[Wendy glares at Pollaski who grins back as he goes to grab the camera. The last thing we see is Wendy’s furious visage, her fists clenched at her side as she tries with all her will to avoid pouncing on her manager.]
[And the feed cuts]
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