Monday May 20, 2013
Terrence’s Charger
Indianapolis, Indiana
6:11 PM Local Time
“Are you sure you should be driving?” Wendy Briese asked, looking over at her husband with concern.
“Oh yeah, I’m fine.” her counterpart replied with a small shrug, despite the fact that his voice was far more thick than normal. “We’re almost to the- destination as it is.”
Wendy wasn’t entirely sure about that. It wasn’t the worst condition she had ever seen her husband in- he had taken some pretty hard licks throughout both his wrestling and racing careers, but he still was pretty banged up. His nose was covered with a massive bandage that she wasn’t entirely even sure how he could breathe through. His now-ruddy face was covered with purple splotches, with two black eyes that suddenly appeared to be perpetually drowsy. Several times she had wondered if her husband was falling asleep at the wheel- but he still seemed responsive enough.
“I’m sorry,” she said, for perhaps the four hundredth time in the last couple hours. She sighed, turning around to the back seat, where her daughter sat. “How are you holding up, Terr-Bear?”
She had an idea what the answer was. Once it became apparent that Terrence was very much alive and still able to (mostly) function, her daughter’s take on the situation had almost instantly turned from horrified trauma to it being the most awesome thing she had ever seen in her life. She had LOVED the hospital, and so badgered the doctor with questions as he looked over Terrence that Wendy had to eventually drag the six-year old out of the room so the poor beleaguered man could finish his job.
So it was no surprise when Theresa replied with “Fine.” Although Wendy hadn’t quite expected what came next. “Daddy says he’s going to buy me a ten-speed bike if I promise not to ever tell anyone that you beat him up.”
“Well, not off to a very good start there, are you?” Terrence muttered, rolling his eyes, and doing his best to ignore the suddenly incredulous glare his wife was giving him.
“What kind of lesson do you think bribing our daughter teaches her?” Wendy asked, her voice low, yet deadly.
“That sometimes its better to just keep your mouth shut,” Terrence replied easily. “Such as when you’d probably not have your name suddenly associated with ‘domestic violence.’ How’d you like it if someone like Alex Houser found out about it?”
Wendy couldn’t help but cringe at that thought. Houser’s sole purpose in life seemed to be idiotically twisting words around to suit his own needs. “It was an *accident*.” Wendy replied emphatically. In truth- it hadn’t entirely been. She had meant to deliver every single blow she had struck on her husband right where she had done it. But she certainly hadn’t realized it was her husband until he was already down and bleeding.
"Oh, I know." Terrence responded lightly. "But you know what people like that do. And you have to admit... it was a hell of an overreaction!"
Terrence chuckled, and Wendy bit her tongue, choking down a retort she knew she'd regret. It took her a couple seconds to calmly say "Why did you have to grab me from behind like that?"
"I wanted to surprise you. I guess I did!" He laughed again, seemingly taking it all in stride. "I actually called your name a couple times, but you couldnt hear me over that rain, I guess. Thats why I grabbed you."
Wendy frowned, turning back to look out the window. At least it had stopped raining, and was turning out to be a beautiful evening, after all. "I never knew you were there. And its just that... the last time someone came up from behind like that I-" she paused, remembering her daughter was in the back seat. "I was in Belfast." she simply said quietly.
It took a few seconds for Terrence to catch on, and when he did his eyes went wide. "Oh..." was all he could say.
They rode for a while in silence, the mood in the car turned somber. Wendy sighed. She had vowed to not let what had happened last July affect her life, but she couldnt help it when the memories resurfaced unexpectedly such as today. Just the thought of that creep sneaking up behind her again...
She shuddered, and felt Terrence reach over and put an arm around her, keeping his left hand still firmly on the Charger's wheel. She smiled slightly at her husbands compassion, but snapped her head around in alarm as the arm quickly withdrew, the car jolting sharply as Terrence steered away from something that emitted a loud honk. Theresa let out a startled yelp, and Wendy looked wide eyed at him. Had they been veering into the other lane?
"Terry... are you honestly okay?" Wendy demanded. Terrence had taken some pain medicine at the hospital before being released, but had proclaimed himself okay to drive, and the doctor hadn't objected. But even so...
Terrence just waved away her concern. “I’m fine,” he said again, making no effort to even hide his eyeroll.
“Terrence, our daughter is in this car, and you’re injured. Pull over and I’ll-”
“I’m fine,” Terrence repeated adamantly. “Besides, you don’t even know where we’re going.”
“You could give me directions. I’ve been told I’m quite good at following them.”
“Nah. I want you to be surprised. In fact... we’re getting close. You should put on your blindfold now.”
“Terry, I’d rather not-”
“Just put it on!” Terrence insisted. “Trust me, it’ll be worth it.”
Wendy sighed, and glanced back at her daughter, who had been in charge of hanging onto the blindfold. The girl was eagerly holding it up for her mom to take it, a mischievous grin all over her face. Obviously she knew what was up. Relenting, she grabbed the blindfold, and slipped it over her head to cover her eyes.
Whatever it was, Terrence, and even Theresa were certainly excited about it. Wendy had later found out that Terrence had deliberately avoided her call, to better make sure she hadn’t been suspecting of this ‘surprise’ he was wanting so badly to show her. Even after THAT had ended in disaster, he had been adamant that they would still go, and nothing that Wendy could say would convince him otherwise. An early birthday present, he called it.
It grated on her more than she wanted to admit, and not just because she was worried about what condition Terrence would even be in to drive. She should have been in a ring training three hours ago, but between her transportation issues, the unavailibility of Crossroad’s ring, and Pollaski’s inability to find a replacement, it didn’t look like that was going to be happening tonight. Just great- five days away from her first Pay Per View match in eight months, and she was sitting in a car fretting instead of getting in that ring an preparing herself. Take away the fact that Pollaski had insisted on using a bunch of Wednesday to shoot one of her promos, and she was running short on time.
“Almost there,” Terrence said from next to her, as she felt the car slow down, and take a hard left turn that pushed her hard into the seatbelt. Even though she was more annoyed about the situation than anything, she still was at least mildly curious as to what Terrence had up his sleeve. She hadn’t even recognized the area she was in before she put the blindfold on, but if she had to guess, she’d say they were in Lawrence Township in the northeastern corner of the city- outside the Interstate 465 loop. She had no idea why they’d be on the other side of Indianapolis from The Nest.
The road they were on was obviously gravel- she could hear the crunching of the rocks under the Charger’s tires. Other than that, she was literally in the dark. Twice, she considered slipping off her blindfold, but ultimately kept it on. Whatever it was, it was obviously important to Terrence, so she played along.
It didn’t take long for the car to come to a stop, and Terrence shut off the engine. “Keep it on,” he said, and she heard his door open and close, with her door opening several seconds later. She undid her seatbelt, and accepted her husbands assistance in climbing out of the car, nearly falling over as her shoe rolled wrong on an errant pebble. Terrence caught her, and helped her straighten up, then left her standing blind to help Theresa out as well, and shut the car door. He turned her slightly, to make sure she was facing the right way.
“Okay Theresa, start the music.” He said, his voice more excited than Wendy had remembered in a long time. A second later, Mussorgsky’s “Great Gate of Kiev” began to play, and despite herself, she felt goosebumps on her arm. If Terrence was using this for music... it must be a big deal.
“Alright... on three Wendy. Okay? One... two.... THREE!”
The blindfold came off.
Her face fell.
And she looked at Terrence.
“Really?”
===========================
Wednesday May 22, 2013
Marion County Community Theater- Parking Lot
Indianapolis, Indiana
11:48 AM Local Time
(OOC: Every character in this that’s not a member of the Birdz is very obviously played by a lookalike actress. Also, any song you don’t recognize can probably be found on YouTube)
As we fade in, we’re looking up at a telephone pole, up against a building. A bolt of lighting comes down, striking the pole, sparks flying. A beam of electricity begins to slowly creep down the wooden pole, which just so happens to be by a curbside parked car where Daniel Pollaski is sleeping. The windows are down, Pollaski is snoring, a bag of potato chips sitting on his chest.
As the beam hits the bottom of the pole, it creeps towards the car, and the moment it hits the car, the stereo immediately explodes into noise-
“ITS RELENTLESS!” .
And Pollaski wakes with a start, potato chips flying all over the place. The music to Martha Griffith’s “Electric Boogie” begins to play, and suddenly we are looking at a three-quarters down view of what looks like the ENTIRE FFW ROSTER DOING THE ELECTRIC SLIDE. As they do that, a graphic that looks like it could ripped straight out of an eighties sit-com appears on the screen.
RELENTLESS: THE MUSICAL
After a few more seconds of FFW-style line dancing, it cuts to a seperate scene of Wendy (the real Wendy, of course), standing against a cheesy looking background of orange clouds. Occasionally it does flash back to the line dancers.
Wendy: #We’ve got twelve matches#
Choir: #ITS RELENTLESS!#
Wendy: #Twenty-Eight Wrestlers#
Choir: #ITS RELENTLESS!#
Wendy: #Barclay’s Center!#
Choir: #ITS RELENTLESS!#
Now sung real fast-almost like a rap.
Wendy: #It was orignally called Conviction
And we had a different song up
Then we suddenly had to change it#
Cut to Pollaski leaning out the car window, almost doing a Kubrick Stare
Pollaski: #BUT ITS SO WORTH THE MONEY!#
More interspersed shots of Wendy singing, along with other FFW’ers dancing in the middle of the street.
Wendy: #You’ve gotta know it#
Choir: #ITS RELENTLESS! BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!#
Wendy: #That FFW Can show it...#
Choir: #ITS RELENTLESS! BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!#
Wendy: #Is the best wrestling company...
In the whole world...#
Now a cut to Wendy singing while doing the electric slide along with the rest of the cast)
Wendy: #So come on down and watch us...
It’ll be a roller coaster ride
And you can see it, see it, see it
All for just forty-nine ninety-five#
Ordering information suddenly appears flashing on the screen, in the same horrendous eighties style graphics as the title screen. Wendy is not daunted by the awful effects.
Wendy: #This night we will make history
It’ll be the end of the Power Trip
And they’ll be like big rats, big rats, big rats
Deserting a sinking ship.#
One more round of the electric slide ensues, and then the song changes to “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jespen. “Arianna Millar” is standing at a window, looking through it, while on the other side “Desirae Kain” is in the middle of training on a punching bag (or trying to... the actress doesn’t seem too good at it.)
“Arianna”: #I was in SVW
I didn’t know what to do
My T&A run was through
And that was kind of lame.#
Now interspersed are more close-up cuts of “Desi” training.
“Arianna:” #This French housewife then knocked
Said “I just won Future Shock
If we could team up, that’d rock”
And I was on my way.#
“Arianna:”#Our team was flying
The competition was dying
But my eggs weren’t frying
So I’ll throw it all away..#
Cut to “Ari” now singing on a stage, with a VERY generic looking backup band behind her.
“Arianna”: #Hey Des, I owe you,
And this is crazy
But I’m a right bitch
So screw you Kain-y
Since Team Adonis
Took our babies
I don’t need you
So screw you Kainy#
Chorus Reprise!
“Arianna:” #Hey Des, I owe you,
And this is crazy
But I’m a right bitch
So screw you Kain-y
Was I ever your friend?
I dunno maybe
But I prefer Sophie
So screw you Kainy#
A brief instrumental, which includes bonus shots of “Desi”... mowing a lawn?
“Arianna:” #I’ve been on the attack
I think you’re starting to crack
You lost to SOPHIA BLACK
And that is A-Okay
In a couple days we will fight
I’ll show you you’re wrong I’m right
And put you down for the night
And that will make my day#
“Arianna” has got the most evil little smirk on her right now, although the real Ari probably doesn’t have dimples like that...
“Arianna:” #You’re cracks are showing
Ripped heart, your chances blowing
The crowd will be going
“ARIANNA MANNING, BABY!”#
Back to the chorus!
“Arianna:” #Hey Des, I owe you,
And this is crazy
But I’m a right bitch
So screw you Kain-y
Next FFW CHampion?
That’s kinda hazy
But then I can win it
So screw you Kain-y#
Now “Arianna” lying on the hood of a car, singing, trying to look seductive. YMMV on the success of that...
“Arianna:” #Hey Des, I owe you,
And this is crazy
But I’m a right bitch
So screw you Kain-y
You belong here?
That’s kinda crazy
I’ll prove it other
So screw you Kain-y#
As the bridge hits, “Ari” back on the stage smugly singing right into a very disgruntled “Desirae’s” face.
“Arianna:” #I know you saved my career
I’m just ungrateful
I’m just ungrateful
I’m just an ungrateful bitch.#
The music fades out, and we cut to a darkened room. “Claire Black” steps forward, up to a microphone, as behind her, the Canadian and American flags are illuminated. To the tune of “O, Canada”
“Claire”: #O, Mileena
I’ll punch you in the face
This woman’s is a disgrace
To the entire human race#
Behind “Claire”, marching in from opposite directions are two columns of Mounties. They stand behind Claire at attention for the rest of the song.
“Claire:” #Through thick and thin I will take her flag
And then I’ll reign supreme
I can’’t wait to knock out this dyejobbed bag
The IWC will turn it into a meme#
IWC sung REALLY fast there. Meter matching is harder than it looks, dammit!
“Claire:” #I’ll win this match. So easily.
O Mileena you’re about to get beaten by me
O Mileena you’re about to get beaten by me!!!!#
“Claire’s:” arms spread wide as she finishes, and on cue, the Mounties all turn, saluting the Canadian flag. The reverency of the moment is kinda undermined by the words MILEENA SUCKS spelled out on their backs. Below, in much more modernized font than earlier, comes a disclaimer.
No Canadians were harmed in the making of this video.
And now we’re in a simple room with a chair, upon which Daniel Pollaski is sitting, (fake) strumming a guitar, as the tune of “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5 kicks in.
Pollaski: #Punk Rock Queen of only twenty-one
Annoyed too many of the top-tier brass
Until Samantha got it in her mind that
Jessie Hexstar should kick her ass.#
Intersperesed with scenes of Jessika tormenting Kate and Misty in the ring taken from actual FFW footage.
Pollaski: #Hexxie’s said for months and months that Kate will no longer live.
Will Steele stand up to her, cause something’s gotta give!#
A shot of “Kate” lying on the floor crying, as “Misty” runs up to her, trying to pull her up and give her a hug.
Pollaski: #I think that this match will have a lot of pain.
One is emo and the other’s insane.
With no rules this could get carried away...
Kate kill the monster, or will Hexstar slay?
But there will... be blood.
Yes there will... be blood.#
Pollaski’s singing voice? Surprisingly decent. But those high notes... no bueno.
Pollaski: #Hexstar’s already beaten Kate’s best friend
Then again in a six-femme match.
She’s gonna make sure Kate can’t reproduce
Like when she kept kicking Candi in the--
Wendy: (angrily, from offscreen) “POLLASKI!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Pollaski can only shrug and roll his eyes as he returns to the prechorus
Pollaski: #Kate’s gotta pull herself together so she won’t be ran out the door.
She’s gotta prove she’s not so emo, she still matters anymore.#
And back to the chorus, as shots of “Jessika” seems to be stalking “Kate” and “Misty” as they walk down the street, laughing as they are shopping.
Pollaski: #Crimson fluids will be running high.
Blood and guts and of course hair dye.
Kate’s gotta do it, can’t afford to choke.
This is the moment she’s gotta go for broke
But there will.. be blood
Yes there will... be blood.#
Pollaski holds the last note in an attempt to croon, but it’s suddenly interrupted by...
*JENNY ROCK!*
And the music of LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem” kicks in, Back to the entire cast in a line dance set up in the street, save for “Jenny Williams” and “Kelly McGuffin” who are standing at the forefront. Despite all of Pollaski’s claims (or maybe because of them) he certainly picked a rather photogenic actress to play Kelly.
“Jenny:” “WHOOOO!”
Choir: #TV Belt is in the house, tonight!
And you know you’re gonna have a good fight.
When we’re done you just turn out the lights
Cause every other match will just seem trite#
“Kelly:” “CLAP!”
Everyone starts clapping, their hands above their head, as they repeat the chorus.
Choir: #TV Belt is in the house, tonight!
And you know you’re gonna have a good fight.
When we’re done you just turn out the lights
Cause every other match will just seem...#
Brace yourselves... you know what's coming.
“Kelly:” #SHAKE IT!#
If you’ve ever wanted to watch amateur actresses dressed like your favorite FFW Stars 'shufflin', you picked the right video to watch! Even some of the guys (like “Cody Kincaid”, “Wolf Ramsey”, and even Pollaski) are getting in on this. And its as glorious as you would think.
“Jenny” gets to rap first.
“Jenny:” #Look at this, my TV belt.
You think that you can take this? What the hell?
Overrated, that’s so you
I’ll down you quicker than my Mountain Dew
I’m a Williams, You know what that means?
Big match Jenny is on the scene.
Kelly McGuffin, second-rate
You’re about to have too much on your plate.#
Ah, but “Kelly’s” got some words of her own, filling in for RedFoo
“Kelly:” #Yo, you seem to forget that I’m the best high flyer
If you even think otherwise, I know you’re a liar
Your TV Belt... you better believe that I’ll take it
I’ll beat you down so hardcore you’ll wonder how you’ll ever make it.#
Back to the chorus we go!
Choir: #TV Belt is in the house, tonight!
And you know you’re gonna have a good fight.
When we’re done you just turn out the lights
Cause every other match will just seem trite#
Now an epic-looking camera sweep of the entire scene
Choir: #TV Belt is in the house, tonight!
And you know you’re gonna have a good fight.
When we’re done you justr turn out the lights
Cause every other match will just seem...#
Long pause... “Kelly” and “Jenny” look at each other, before deciding they better both do it.
“Kelly” & “Jenny”: #EVERYDAY WERE WRASSLIN!!#
More shuffling. It should be noted that Wendy’s in the corner of the formation for this number, and she looks completely lost as to what the hell we’re even doing here. She don’t shuffle every day, it seems.
Anyways, on to “Kelly” rapping again.
“Kelly:” #House of glass
And your precious title reign is gonna crash.
Oh, you mad? Calm down, Rover
Now, stop. Your fluke is over#
She pats “Jenny” on the head derogatively, like a dog. As the beat kicks in, it’s a bit of back and forth here.
“Jenny:” #Got my Mountain Dew#
“Kelly:” #Let’s ring the bell#
“Jenny:” #Now you’re really screwed#
“Kelly:” #No chance in hell#
“Jenny:” #I will get that pin#
“Kelly:” #Just a spotmonkey#
“Jenny:” #And you will choke again#
“Kelly” #And your brother’s flunky#
Cut to “Scarlett Kincaid” and “Crystal Hilton”, who are sharing a microphone as they musically cheer on their respective friends.
“Scarlett” & “Crystal”: #Climb up, jump down, squash that girl who’s on the ground.
Climb up, jump down, acrobatics just like a clown
Climb up, jump down, shooting star press goes round and round
Climb up, jump down, listen to the crowd’s cheering sound#
Break it on down, girls! As they continue to sing, wires lift “Jenny” and “Kelly” into the air, where they swing back and forth, trying to aerial Kung Fu Fight CTHD style.
“Scarlett” & “Crystal:” #Climb up, climb up, climb up, climb up, climb up, climb up
Jump off that turnbuckle too the ground, to the ground to the ground...#
The wires lower “Jenny” and “Kelly” back down, and their feet touch right on the beat that leads back to the chorus.
Choir: #TV Belt is in the house, tonight!
And you know you’re gonna have a good fight.
When we’re done you just turn out the lights
Cause every other match will just seem trite#
One mo’ time!
Choir: #TV Belt is in the house, tonight!
And you know you’re gonna have a good fight.
When we’re done you just turn out the lights
Cause every other match will ju-u-u-u-st seem trite!
Whoa-oh-oh Whoa-oh-oh-oh#
The beat slows, and suddenly...
#BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#
#BWAAAAA BWAAAAA BWAAAAAA#
The scene doesn’t even cut before “Jump Around” by House of Pain begins to play, and everything immediately breaks down into a bedlam of everyone pretty much just jumping around- and into each other. At the forefront are “Hayley” and “Ignis” who are not just ahead of everyone else, THEY ARE WEARING FUCKING MOON SHOES.
It’s such a shame those never lasted.
*SCRAAAAAAAAAAATCH*
The music suddenly stops, everyone covering their ears at the record scratching sound. Confused silence for a beat, and then Pollaski’s voice comes in from off camera, via a megaphone.
PollaskI: “Uh yeah, sorry. Just got a tweet. Tag title match just got postponed.”
Everyone: “AWWWWWWWWWW!”
Pollaski: “Yeah, apparently Iggy just hurt her ankle. Poor girl.”
Wendy looks concerned, piping up from her spot in the group.
Wendy: “Is she okay?”
Pollaski: “Dunno. That’s all Adam’s said. So, well, uh, I guess we move on to the next one.”
Wendy has pulled out her own phone, and is reading her feed, looking somewhat bummed out.
Wendy: “Oh, look. Kat Stryfe is already whining and sniping about it. There’s a big surprise.”
She quickly types something into her phone, while everyone else just mills around.
Pollaski: “Alright, on to the next one...”
The scene cuts away, back to a stage with the same generic band that was in “Call me Maybe” playing. This time though, the music is “Surrender” by Cheap Trick.
Gee, which match you think this one’s about?
Sure enough, “Tara Thunder” and “Serafina Reynolds” are lined up at microphones, side by side. The champion looks to kick things off.
“Serafina:” #They all told me, yes they told me
This title was a fluke.
Eight months later, I still have it
My critics have all puked.
But now they told me
I will have my toughest yet defense
Tara Thunder’s will put me to the test...#
Choir: #Sera’s all right. Tara’s all right.
But something has got to give.
No Surrender. No Surrender.
Or the title goes away...ay...ayy#
Now it’s “Tara’s” turn to go to the microphone, the actress playing her has the wrong hair for it, but she’s got that smug smirk down pat.
“Tara:” Well, I say that reign’s all right.
I’m actually quite impressed.
But I’m the Femme Fatale of last year
And I’ll prove that I’m the best.
Now I had heard the Power Trip
Cant win one on their own
Im the exception to that rule so you are boned.
Choir: #Sera’s all right. Tara’s all right.
But something has got to give.
No Surrender. No Surrender.
Or the title goes away...ay...ayy#
Interlude here. The guitarist seems to be rockin out FAR more than he has any right to for a mild-paced Cheap Trick song, but it might just be the floppy hair. Duet for this one.
“Serafina” & “Tara”: Watch this one cause it might be
The best match of the year.
A shiny belt goes to the winner
The loser just gets tears.
It will be Thunder and also Cupcake
Rolling in the ring
Throwing out every submission hold
All that they can bring.
Choir: #Sera’s all right. Tara’s all right.
But something has got to give.
No Surrender. No Surrender.
Or the title goes away...ay...ayy#
Outro!
Choir: #Awayyyyyyyyyy... Awayyyyy.....#
The music suddenly stops, and we now see “Cody Kincaid” standing on the street corner, addressing a crowd of FFW’s babyfaces, and Scarlett, of course.
“Cody:” “Amanda Saint will destroy this company! She’ll ruin us all, alright?”
To the tune of “Kill the Beast” from Beauty and the Beast
“Scarlett:” #We’re not safe until she’s gone
So its time we stand and fight#
“Valerie:” #Or well sacrifice our careers
To her own pathetic plight.#
Wendy: #She’ll wreak havoc on our company
If we Let her wander free#
“Cody:” So its time to take some action girls
Its time to follow me!
“Cody” waves for the faces to follow him, and they all do, as he continues to sing.
“Cody:” #Through the door, down the ramp
Through the ropes into the ring
It’s a gamble but its one exciting ride.
Take a breath, it smells like death
Its the stench of my opponent
Or perhaps it’s the ineptitude inside.#
“Cody:” #AMANDA SAINT, she’s as dumb as a mountain
MBA, or so she’ll say, is her cred.
Bottom line is all she knows.
But our employees say she goes
Out the door and on her head!
ON HER HEAD!#
Now practically screaming.
“Cody:” KILL THE SAINT!#
Suddenly...
#GAAAAAAAAASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!#
… No, your eyes aren’t decieving you. Lucas Peek just jumped out from nowhere to sing one line. Of course its an actor, this man actually DOESN’T look like a complete braindead roided up idiot. That doesn’t stop “Cody” from turning around, and punching “Lucas” full on in the face. Lucas wobbles for just a second, before completely collasping. All the girls look down, then back up to “Cody.”
“Cody:” NOW WHO’S WITH ME?
A LOUD affirmative cheer, and the scene is “Cody” leading the faces up the street, as more and more people join the mob. Of course there’s pitchforks and torches. LOTS of pitchforks and torches.
Choir: #Scarlett’s banned, change the plan
Only Easter is at ringside
There’s no chance she’ll have it any other way.
Cody must, have to trust
In his own skills and his cunning
If he hopes to hold his job another day.
Amanda Saint has to leave she’s a cancer.
Worse than Star, oh by far
Can’t you see.
We’ve had enough, about to blow.
She has definitely got to go.
We’ll rid ourselves of this foul taint!
KILL THE SAINT!!#
The mob has arrived at their destination, a tree in a park just off the road. They gather around the tree.
Chorus: #KILL THE SAINT!#
#KILL THE SAINT!#
#KILL THE SAINT!#
On the last, an effigy of Amanda Saint falls from the tree, strung up by a noose. Immediately, the effigy combusts, bursting into flames.
The scene cuts to the middle of a junkyard, where “Eileen Amaro” is standing on a crate, as “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz kicks in.
“Eileen”: #I’ve got my match match match match
Get ready to batten down the hatch hatch hatch hatch
I’m aware this is my third chance chance chance chance
But tonight I’m gonna dance dance dance dance#
“Eileen” rolls her eyes
Eileen: #Yeah, Kat bitches on and on and on...
But I'm so glad to take her on... yeah!#
Full on popstar mode, now.
“Eileen:” #My whole career has led up to this night
Saying Ay-Yo,
I’m Eileen Amaro
I’m gonna make my own name shine so bright
Saying A-yo
C’mon Let’s go#
Suddenly, background dancers!
“Eileen:” #Cause I will rock her world
I will bring the fight
I will make her quit
And finally claim my right.
All my doubters they
Will soon see the light
Because I’m taking home
The Evo Belt Tonight. #
It cuts straight to the bridge, with “Eileen” standing atop a car, wearing shades, despite the fact that it is night out.
“Eileen”: #I’m gonna go all out.
I’m gonna be the last one standing
I’m gonna break this curse
On my feet will be where I’m landing
Because I’m due
And Katherine Stryfe is screwed
It’s time for a brawl
I’m taking it all.
It’ll be my hand in the air, yeah my hand in the air!#
“Eileen” raises her hand in the air, as if triumphant already, as the quadruple beat of the song hits, then immediately cuts to New Order’s “Bizarre Love Triangle” We’re back at the stage, this time sands generic background band, but lights are flashing wildly as the three women in the FFW Championship match are on the stage. “Starla” and “Isabella” are to one side, sharing a microphone, while “Valerie” has one to herself, although she’s moved to the side.
“Isabella:” #Everytime I think of this
Match I cannot helped but get real pissed.
Everybody can see
That I’m the best in history
They can't beat me with two, so now they'll make it three#
“Isabella smirks, although both “Starla” and “Valerie” roll their eyes. “Starla” steps up to the mic this time, glancing over at “Isabella”.
“Starla:” #People question our relationship
Am I in this for me or for the Power Trip?
Not like I swore an oath
But why can’t it be both?
So long as its in the family, we’ll both stay close.#
Now it’s “Starla’s” turn to smirk, and “Isabella” doesn’t look pleased in the slightest. Then the chorus hit, and all three women sing.
“Starla”, “Val”, & “Isabella”: #Every time I see you falling
I’ll get down on my knees and pin
And hope that the ref can count to three
Before a kickout or break-up gets in.#
The camera flips over the “Valerie” for the second verse, where she stands alone, yet defiant.
“Valerie:” #I don’t care about these politics
It could be the Power Trip is up to old tricks.
They can lie, they can spin
But I am just here to win.
I don’t care if by submission, or its by pin.
I’ve never held a top belt in my life
No more being the bridesmaid, now I’ll be the wife.
You all know it’ll be great
To see my name on that plate.
More and more I feel it, I know it’s fate. #
Both “Isabella” and “Starla” are now scowling at this, glaring at “Valerie”, then each other, before the chorus kicks in again.
“Isabella”, “Starla” & “Val”: #Every time I see you falling
I’ll get down on my knees and pin
And hope that the ref can count to three
Before a kickout or break-up gets in. #
The music fades, and we cut to a rooftop in an older section of Indianapolis, where Wendy Briese (the real one!) is standing in her ring gear. The beat sounds like a heartbeat, followed by three noises that almost sound a horn. Most would recognize it as the start of Lady Gaga’s “The Edge of Glory”. Wendy’s holding a microphone.
Wendy: #Six months ago I hurt my back inside the ring. It stunk#
An echo pops in from another singer who can't be seen on screen.
Echo: #Yeah baby, it stunk, yeah baby#
Wendy: #I had to watch on the sidelines and you know I felt the sting, to my pride#
Echo: #My pride#
Wendy: #But now I’m back and I’m finishing what I’ve left undone, and fight#
Echo: #Yeah baby, and fight yeah baby#
Wendy: #And I won’t stop until I prove that I am number one.#
It’s a bit shaky, as Wendy’s apparently had some struggles in the rhythm, but once she hits the bridge, her true vocal talent shines through.
Wendy: #I know there’s one more plus.
I feel more dangerous.
I know it comes down to
This next Pay-per-view
The first that I’ve had in eight months.#
Suddenly, bright lights appear from around, illuminating the rooftop.
Wendy: #Cause I’m in a match... with Jodie
It’s the Power Trip facing the truth
I’m in a match... with Jodie!
It’s experience up against youth.
I’m in a match, a match
A match, a match
A match a match a match!
I’m in a match... with Jodie.
And I know that I’ve got something to prove.
I’m in a match WOO-HOO!#
Wendy finishes the chorus with a cheesy fist pump, grinning sheepishly.
Wendy: #I’ve had enough of all the screwjobs and the tricks, no more#
Echo: #Yeah baby, no more yeah baby#
Wendy: #But they can’t hurt me I will always be right here in the mix#
Echo: #Alright! alright!#
Wendy: #I will show the world the Power Trip is no better, no way#
Echo: Yeah baby, no way yeah baby#
Wendy: #I am stronger, even if they think that I am fettered#
Echo: #She is! She is!#
Wendy’s not entirely sure which part that echo refers to, but she bravely presses on.
Wendy: #So to the Queen of Games
I’m going to say it plain.
I don’t care what you do.
I will charge on through.
And give you the hardest challenge of your life!#
Bright lights again!
Wendy: #Cause I’m in a match... With Jodie
And I know we’re gonna blow off the roof.
I’m in a match... with Jodie
It’s the sole reason I’m singing this spoof.
I’m in a match.. a match ..
A match.. a match
A match, a match, a match!
I’m in a match... with Jodie.
And I’m carrying the burden of proof.
I’m in a match, woo-hoo!#
Suddenly, Terrence appears next to her, wearing super cheesy shades (at night!), and a bright red leisure suit. He’s playing the HELL out of the saxophone in his hands. Wendy obviously wasn’t expecting this, but she remembers her cue.
Wendy: #I’m in a match woo-hoo!#
Terrence is playing a bit TOO hard, it seems. Or at least not taking any breaths, because his face starts to turn deep red. He finally doubles over, gasping, Wendy so concerned about him that she misses her next cue. Strangely, the saxophone continues to play, even though its nowhere near Terrence’s lips.
Wendy’s almost about to run and help him, but he waves her away, and begins playing again. Unfortunately, by now, the saxophone has STOPPED on the Music track, and Wendy facepalms as she realizes her husband has now completely lost it.
Luckily, the chorus comes up again not to long after, and this time, Wendy nails it, as the entire cast suddenly appears behind her, breaking into an energetic, choreographed dance.
Wendy: #I’m in a match... With Jodie
And you better know I’m bringing the pain
I’m in a match... With Jodie
If you haven’t realized from the last three refrains
I’m in a match, a match
A match, a match
A match, a match, a match
I’m in a match... with Jodie.
And there’s nothing else that I have to say.
See you Saturday at Barclays!#
The music abruptly stops, and a bunch of cheap fireworks explode behind her, as everyone freezes in a pose. And with that... the credits roll to music that sounds like it was taken out of a bad 70s movie.
RELENTLESS: THE MUSICAL
LYRICS BY: DANIEL POLLASKI
MUSIC BY: RESPECTIVE ARTISTS
DIRECTED BY: DANIEL POLLASKI
STARRING
WENDY BRIESE as HERSELF
DANIEL POLLASKI as HIMSELF
Thus follows the very long list of FFW personality portrayed in the show, and finally
STUFFY DOLL IV as AMANDA SAINT
SPECIAL APPEARANCE by TERRENCE THOMPSON
SPECIAL THANKS TO
THE MARION COUNTY COMMUNITY THEATHER
BUTLER UNIVERSITY GLEE CLUB
IUPUI AUDIO/VISUAL DEPARTMENT
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
NOW WATCH RELENTLESS ON MAY 25!
And cut.
No comments:
Post a Comment