Friday March 23, 2012
The Nest- Living Room
Indianapolis, Indiana
3:49 PM Local Time
The scene opens in the comfy and familiar living room of the Thompson family household. Wendy Briese, dressed in a nice pale yellow dress, is sitting on the couch, looking grimly at the camera. She takes a deep breath, and begins.
“So... the time has finally come for my first No Surrender title defense. In less than a week, I will be in Milwaukee, stepping into the ring against Starla McCloud. And in less than a week, Starla’s own husband Alex Adonis will don a referee shirt to officiate our match.”
Wendy shakes her head in disgust.
“I know what I’m up against here, and I know that the chances of me leaving Chaos Theory with my title are slim at best. But if Starla thinks that I’m going to just cower in a corner...”
“GEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOONIIIIIIIIIIIIIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
*CRASH!*
Wendy screams and covers her head, cowering as a wrecking ball come swinging through the bay window sitting to the left of the camera, facing out of the living room over the front lawn. Glass flies everywhere, forcing the redhead champion to turn away. The camera turns towards the window, and we discover that it’s not actually a wrecking ball, but is Daniel Pollaski, connected to a tether that only now he is unhooking himself from. Evidently, Pollaski’s just jumped off the roof and used the rope to swing through the window. Wendy, having recovered from the sensation that her house is being demolished, turns, her mouth wide open in horror.
Pollaski: “DANIEL ROBERT POLLASKI IS TOO AWESOME TO BE SCREWED OVER BY THE FUCKWITS IN LEGENDARY! HE’S SO AWESOME, HE PLUGS HIS SVW MATCH IN AN FFW PROMO!”
As she realizes what’s going on here, Wendy’s expression of horror is slowly turning to one of rage, as she rises from the couch.
Wendy: “What.”
Pollaksi sniffs the air, the looks over at Wendy.
Pollaski: “You’re baking cookies.”
Wendy: “You wrecked my liv-”
Pollaski: “YEAH I DID!”
Pollaski spins away from Wendy, running across the living room, to where three mannequins are standing. Judging by the confused (yet still angry) expression on Wendy’s face, this is a new addition to the decor of the living room. Like, they just got wheeled in.
Pollaski: “Luther Thunder is nothing but an overrated pussy, and I’ll rip out his motherfucking throat!”
Pollaski claws at the first mannequins throat, connecting solidly. Obviously there’s a pressurized pack on the mannequin, because a jet of arterial spray comes out- nailing Wendy directly in the face, forcing the redhead to shriek, and cover her face again. Pollaski knocks the mannequin over, and moves on to the next one, this one obviously female.
Pollaski: “And if that cumdumpster Amy gets in my way, I’ll tear off those flabby meatcurtains, stick my hand up her sewer pipe, and rip out her uterus!”
Pollaski reaches to the mannequins crotch, and with a loud tearing sound is heard, and Pollaski pulls out two raw steaks that obviously have spent a considerable amount of time out of a refrigerator. He throws the steaks on the carpet, then reaches up the crotch, digging around for just a second, before pulling out the uterus- which is apparently a green-jello covered Nerf Football. Pollaski spikes the football, then kicks over the mannequin over.
Pollaski: “And Alexander Stryfe can take his stupid five billion dollar lawsuit, and shove it up his ass!”
Pollaski reaches into his pocket, grabbing something. He then spins the mannequin around punching a hole in it, and depositing whatever he grabbed inside. He then strikes a pose.
Pollaski: “FATALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!”
*BOOM!*
Evidently, whatever Pollaski placed in the mannequin was explosive, because the entire mannequin blows up. Wendy, who was gingerly trying to pick the spoiled meat off her floor, is thrown backwards with a scream as bits and pieces of plaster fly all over the room, hitting everything, including Pollaski, although he hardly seems fazed. Finally the dust clears, with only parts of the legs of the mannequin still standing. Meanwhile, Wendy is climbing back to her feet, covered in plaster, glass, fake blood, meat, Jell-O, and little bits of nerf football. Completely disheveled, she is staring at Pollaski, rage in her eyes, her hands curled into talons. Pollaski grins at the camera, singing to the “Old Spice” tune.
Pollaski: “Puhpuh-puh-puh-puh-POLLASKI!”
One of the legs of the blown up mannequin falls over, and Wendy looks like she’s about to scream, as we quickly cut out.
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