EPISODE 80: Icky-Leaks

Wednesday February 16, 2011
The RV
Westbound Interstate 10, MP 220; Riverside County, California
2:34 PM Local Time

“Daddy! I have to go to the bathroom!”

I couldn’t help but smile as my husband let out a low growl of frustration, his teeth clenched as he gripped the RV’s steering wheel just a bit harder. “Theresa, we left the restaurant fifteen minutes ago! Why didn’t you go then?”

“I didn’t HAVE to go then!”

Considering we had asked her four times at the restaurant, I could understand my husband’s frustration about the matter. But then again, after the freezing weather in Oklahoma destroyed the RV’s water system, the realization that we didn’t have a working bathrooom anymore had hit us pretty hard. I suppose it was an indication of just how spoiled we were- after all, most families didn’t have the luxury of being able to drive a motorhome around the country, and had to resort to rest stops, restaurants, and gas stations But the loss of convenience took some time to get used to, especially for poor Theresa.

Back up front, Terrence was sighing in exasperation as he pushed the buttons on the RV’s built in GPS system. “It’s gonna be about half an hour before I can stop, Terr Bear! You’re just going to have to hold it until then.”

“But I have to go NOW!”

Theresa’s voice was starting to enter whining mode, and I looked back at her, trying my best to offer a sympathetic smile. Then I glanced back at Terrence. “Are you sure you can’t stop sooner?”

Terrence irritably gestured out the windows. “We’re in the middle of the Mojave Desert, hon. Yes, I’m sure. The next town is Desert Center. She’s just going to have to hold it.”

I grimaced, and looked out the window at the small mountain range running along to the north of us. The desert was beautiful countryside, to be sure, but there was something haunting about the desolation. And I had a feeling that this Desert Center was going to be much like the other desert towns we’ve visited- little more than a few houses and a gas station, a veritable modern day Oasis.

I turned around and looked back at Theresa again, who was sitting on the couch, sulking. I again tried to muster a sympathetic smile. “Try and think of something else hon. Why don’t you read a book? We’ll be there before you know it.”

Theresa glumly nodded, and reached next to her on the couch, where a small stack of books sat. She picked up one of her favorites- a picture book we had picked up in Niagara about famous waterfalls around the world.

“Not that one!”

Theresa looked up at me, again turning pouty. “Why not?” she sulked

“Just trust me, Theresa. That’s the last book in the world you want to be reading right now.”

Theresa set the book down, and picked up another one, this one about trains. As she read, I glanced a look at the other two riders in the back of the RV. Cassie was asleep, curled up as best she could while wearing her seatbelt, her head slowly bobbing with the swaying of the RV. Pollaski was reading some fantasy novel, although he had looked up, silently laughing with amusement at Theresa’s predictament. I couldn’t help but be irritated by that. After all, the general consensus was that it was Pollaski’s fault that we had no water system.

Pollaski caught my dirty glare, and quickly sobered, doing his best to offer an apologetic smile. “I’m really sorry about that, by the way.”

“So does that mean you’re going to pay for it?” Terrence suddenly snapped, although he carefully kept his eyes glued to Interstate 10.

“Well I...” Pollaski waffled, before finally deciding to ask. “How much is it gonna be anyways?”

“I don’t know,” Terrence replied, although he was seething as he did. “From the looks of things, about ten.”

“TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS?”

“Yup,” Terrence growled.

“Um... I don’t have ten thousand dollars.” Pollaski said, now pale.

I couldn’t help but smile. We had great insurance on the RV, and Terrence had already filed a claim, so his threats about making our manager foot the entire bill were idle ones. Still, I’m sure the thought of beating ten grand out of our manager was definitely an appealing one to my husband right now.

Pollaski looked as if he wanted to say something more, but at that moment, his phone emitted some hideous-sounding ringtone, almost like a dying cat. Pollaski grabbed his phone, and looked at it, grimacing. Then he unbuckled himself, and began walking towards the front of the RV, fighting against the motions of the road.

Considering how Terrence felt about him at the moment, it was a fairly brave move, putting himself in punching distance. But my husband only glowered at Pollaski, probably knowing how unwise it would be to start a fight while operating a moving vehicle at 80 miles per hour. Pollaski flashed another apologetic smile, then looked over at me.

“I thought you might wanna know. They announced Ariel was out for the Great Panda Bash. Darren Hughes is taking her place.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. Last Sunday at X3W’s Revelations had been a roller-coaster of a ride. My ladder match against Madman Szalinski had been nothing short of brutal, with Szalinski doing everything in his power to destroy me, including trying to choke me out using the rung of a ladder. But I had fought back, and when all was said and done, I was the one clutching the title in my hands when it came down. It had been an exultant, emotional moment. Finally... FINALLY after five years of frustration, I had a World Championship belt to my name.

But all that emotion, all that joy, had evaporated when I looked up at the video screen, and saw a screaming Ariel Shadows being hauled out the door by a masked figure. Part of me had hoped that it had all been just a bad dream. That my desperate phone calls weren’t answered due to a battery problem. That I would show up in Los Angeles for the Great Panda Bash, and there would be Ariel, ready to try another one of her infernal pranks.

But this announcement confirmed it. Ariel Shadows wouldn’t be spending the Great Panda Bash facing the likes of Dozer and Loba. Ariel Shadows would be spending the Bash, and every other day, tied up and alone, wondering if anyone was going to be coming for her. Having been kidnapped myself, and held tortured in a dungeon five years ago, I knew the terror involved with being placed in such a situation. I could only hope that Ariel’s captor was more... accommodating than Mandrake had been.

I wanted to help her. I wanted to walk right into that room untie her, and beat whatever monster did this to death with my own two fists. But there wasn’t a damn thing I could do, other than hope that some clue would come up as to her whereabouts. Since it happened at a wrestling show, I was certain that the motive behind the kidnapping was wrestling related. Maybe, maybe some sort of a clue would come up, either in CPW, or X3W.

It was all I could hope for, because outside of that, I was frustratingly impotent.

Pollaski saw the emotion on my face, and he reached out,and grabbed my hand, gently squeezing it. Even Terrence was looking at me with some sort of concern. I knew that tears were running down my cheeks, but I didn’t bother to wipe them away.

“I’m sorry,” Pollaski said in a low voice. “I just thought you should know.”

I nodded. “I just... I just hope she’s okay.”

“I’m sure she is,” Terrence spoke up, although his eyes had gone back to the road. “She’s a tough girl, hon. Just like you.”

I nodded, and now tried to wipe away my tears with my sleeve. “I’m just afraid for her.” I sniffled heavily, then tried to put on a brave smile. “Whoever did it wants something, either from me or Szalinski. They’ll come forward soon enough.”

Pollaski nodded, although I thought it was more to appease me than out of any agreement. But nonetheless, I hoped I was right, because God help Ariel if I wasn’t...

“It’ll be okay,” Terrence said, also trying to reassure me.

“Um...” a small voice suddenly sounded from the back, and Pollaski and I turned around to look. Terrence’s eyes were still on the road, but I could tell he was listening too.

The guilt on Theresa’s face was plain as day. “I don’t have to go anymore...”

As tempting as I could tell it was for my manager to burst out laughing, I think he knew that doing so would result in instant death at both of our hands. I shook my head and sighed, disappointment evident. “Oh, Theresa..”

Terrence, for his part, gestured at a passing mile marker (197), and growled through clenched teeth. “Are you kidding me? We were FIVE MILES AWAY!”

I smiled grimly. “Well, better take the exit anyways.”

======================
Thursday February 17, 2011
Embassy Suites- Suite #1219
Santa Monica, California
9:54 AM Local Time

“So apparently, I just got ‘aced”

“What in the blue HECK is that supposed to mean?’

[So, one quick change of clothes, and a very thorough cleaning of the RV’s couch later, and the WhirlyBirdz were back on the road, headed towards Los Angeles. After checking into a hotel, Terrence headed off for the nearest RV center to see what he could do about fixing the water system. Hopefully it’ll be done by the time Zoos over. The Birdz have a lot of driving to do yet!]

[Nonetheless, we open our scene in a fairly nice-looking hotel room. Wendy Briese is seated in a small chair, wearing a pale blue shirt and a pair of black slacks. Her flame-red hair is in it’s customary ponytail, and she’s smiling at the camera, but the small bags under her eyes indicates that she’s definitely tired from the events over the past couple of weeks, and more than just a little sad.]

“I suppose I should start off by offering my condolences and apologies to the Cherrybombs, who were disqualified from our match last week through no fault of their own. It was a great, fiercely competitive contest, and it could have gone either way until it got wrecked. Wrecked by two individuals who havent’ quite grasped the virtues of being patient. I hope the next time Terrence and I get into the ring with such a great tag team, that we’ll be able to have the match proceed to a proper conclusion.”

[There’s definitely a trace of irritation in her voice as Wendy looks at the camera.]

“So this week, at the Great Panda Bash, I face off against one of those impatient individuals. Ace Andrews, a man who has had success both at the tables in the casinos, and in the wrestling ring. A cocky, arrogant individual who believes he’s God’s gift to women.”

“Speaking as a woman, I’m left wondering just what exactly God’s return policy is.”

[A small, sarcastic smile]

“Mr. Andrews, I suppose I should welcome you to Catholic Panda Wrestling, but from the looks of things, it seems you’ve already become rather well-acquainted with the place. If you and your partner Terry Marvin had joined CPW in the hopes of competing against a couple of the best tag teams in the world, well, then you came to the right place. It’s nice to see the tag division heating up again after the unfortunate departures of the Double Dragons- as much as I respect the Cherrybombs and Steely Vengeance, it would be unfortunate if we were the only three championship-quality teams in the company.”

[Wendy shakes her head, the frustration and irritation evident]

“Unfortunately, the two of you have seemed to have come to the conclusion that the Teaming Panda division is easy pickings for you. That all you need to do is reach out your arms, and you’d rake in the belts like you do chips after a winning hand.”

[Wendy let’s slip a short chuckle.]

“If that’s the case, boy did you guys pick the wrong fed to join.”

“This might not be the largest tag team division in all of wrestling, but there isn’t an easy match to be had here. Steely Vengeance may have their unusual quirks, but there is power behind those two. The Cherrybombs have consistently lived up to their name, for what they lack in size, they more than make up for in explosiveness. And I doubt there’s a wrestling tandem in the world that has better teamwork and chemistry than the WhirlyBirdz. And you two honestly think you can walk into this company and dominate?”

[Another shake of the head]

“If the little stunt you pulled at the last Zoo was to put us on notice, you were way too late. The Syn City Syndicate was marked as potential threats to our titles from the moment you signed your contracts, and even more so after that impressive victory over Scavenger and Tough Eagle. All you ever did by hitting Terrence and I with those chairs was irritate us. I don’t like being attacked from behind by cowards, and I CERTAINLY won’t stand for matches I’m competing in being disrupted by ANYONE.”

[Interesting to note which of those two annoys her more... seriously]

“So I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before you do get an official chance at our tag team championships. Terrence and I won these belts in our very first match here, so we have no qualms about facing a new team. And we’re overdue for our first defense. I’m sure one was to be lined up for us this week at the Great Banda Bash, but Terrence likely threw all those plans into disarray when he won that battle royal.”

[Small shrug]

“So I guess it’s up to me, to represent my team and family in this singles competition. This week, its a torch I’m more than glad to bear. Ace, I’ve been dealing with egotistical, chauvinistic jerks such as you for my entire career, and if there’s anything that I derive some vindictive satisfaction from, it’s shutting disgusting loudmouths such as yourself up.”

[‘Disgusting loudmouth.’ Another gem from the Wendy Briese insult factory!]

“Ace, put as many chips as you want down on the table, but you’re already drawing dead, and I have absolutely no intention of folding. You and Marvin have talent, and you’re certainly a threat to this division, but you’re not anywhere near the dominant alpha-types you think you are. And after I’m done with you, and Hayley beats your partner, you and Marvin are going to have a lot more to worry about than who’s catchphrase you use to sign off.”

[Wendy’s glare hardens for just a second, and she smiles grimly]

“And you’ll also have a greater respect for patience, and a greater respect for your CPW colleagues.”

[And fade]