Thursday November 28, 2002
Methodist Hospital- Room 419
Indianapolis, Indiana
8:45 AM Local Time
“Ungh,” Wendy Briese groaned as her eyelids fluttered open, and she looked around the hospital room. Another night of sleeping in the chair hadn’t done her back any favor, and she stood up, stretching, trying to drive the aches out. Vaguely, some part of her realized it was Thanksgiving morning, but under the circumstances, she hardly cared.
She looked a wreck, and she knew it. She hadn’t showered in days, her clothes were rumpled and disheveled, her flame-colored hair embarassingly unkempt. But she didn’t care. She was here, and as long as her mother lay in that bed, she would continue to be.
She thought back to Sunday night, when she had arrived back in her locker room. She had changed out of her ring gear, and cleaned herself up, before rejoining Terrence in his own dressing room. There, the two had been content to lazily watch the rest of the pay-per-view play out. But maybe ten minutes after settling down, Wendy’s phone had rang, her mother’s number. Reluctantly, she answered.
And had been shocked to find her father on the phone instead.
There had been an accident, he said. They had been driving home from a party, when his car had mechanical problems. They had argued, and Gayle, drunk nearly to the point of incapacitation, tried to storm off. But she couldn’t keep her balance, or a straight line, and she had walked right into the path of an oncoming semi-truck. She wasn’t expected to make it through the night.
Terrence had driven her to the airport, where she had caught the first flight she could get on out. Eight hours of travelling later, including a nerve racking layover in Chicago, and she had arrived early Monday morning in a taxi cab direct from the airport.
And discovered her mother in this horrible, horrible condition.
It was a miracle, the doctor’s said, that she had survived this long. The right side of her body had been more or less caved in, nearly every bone broken. The internal bleeding could only be described as massive. But yet, she lived. For now.
Deep down, Wendy knew it was hardly a miracle. There was no salvation to be had in this lingering, this horrible limbo where pain and agony sat, inches away from the sweet painless release of death. And even if her mother would overcome the odds, she’d be in pain for the rest of her life, horribly bent and broken, unlikely to move ever again. But maybe, just maybe, that one in a million chance... would be her. It was all she had at this moment.
And so Wendy kept her bedside vigil. It was easy enough now, when the blankets covered her, and all she could see was Gayle’s face, largely undamaged, save for a couple scrapes and bruises from when she had fallen on the asphalt after being struck. The hard part was when the nurses came in twice a day to clean the wounds and refresh the bandages. Wendy had yet to fully last a cleaning, being able to handle only so much before fleeing the room, hovering outside until the grisly necessities were complete.
She hated herself as a coward for it, even though she kept telling herself that it was better she left to let the nurses work in peace, then staying there, and risk becoming hysterical.
She glanced at the clock. Perhaps a half hour until the next cleaning. Maybe she should get some breakfast then, even though she hardly felt hungry. She hadn’t eaten in a couple of days now. It would take just a few minutes to run down, and grab a bagel, or a croissant, or something.
She glanced at her cellphone, annoyed that no new calls had come in. Her father had left in the early afternoon yesterday, telling her that he had preparations to make. She couldn’t blame him, legal matters were one of many unpleasantries that came with the pending death of a loved one. And arrangements had to be made for the transport of the body to New York, where she would be buried in a small northern villiage that the Briese family used to vacation in in the summer.
But she was annoyed that he hadn’t called to check up on her. Surely he wasn’t so busy that a simple phone call requesting an update was out of line, right? Wendy had thought that at least maybe this tragedy would have enabled the past hurts to be forgotten, and draw the family back closer. But that was turning out to be as fruitless a hope as Gayle even recovering in the first place.
Terrence had called more often, every few hours for an update as he and Pollaski drove the RV back from Vegas. He’d be arriving later today, probably around noon, he had said. At least then she’d have someone to be with during all this. The worst part about the vigil was the loneliness you felt.
She looked back at Gayle, opening her mouth to say something. She had tried talking to her all the previous day, in some atttempt to get through to the unconscious woman, and to past the time. She told her stories about her experiences on the road. She recanted memories from her childhood. She recited every Irish fairy tale she could remember. She sang the Broadway songs she had learned, her soprano voice occasionally cracking with emotion,
But most of all, she told her mother how sorry she was for her outburst, and for turning her back on her when it was the worst possible thing she could do. And that she had to get better, so they could make things better.
Today though, Wendy had nothing to say, and she shut her mouth with a deflated sigh. Instead, she leaned forward, and planted a soft kiss on Gayle’s forehead, then stood up. She was going to duck down and get that breakfast after all.
Wendy turned to leave, but a movement out of the corner of her eye stopped her. She turned back, her jaw dropping as she saw her mother’s left hand being raised. It wasn’t much, and it was certainly a feeble gesture, but it was more than she had seen before. The shock only deepened as Gayle’s mouth emitted a noise. It wasn’t intelligible, more a groan than anything, but again, it was more than she’d been doing.
“Mom?” Wendy breathed as she rushed back to the bedside, hope rising in her bosom for the first time in nearly forty-eight hours. “Mother? Can you hear me?”
She gently clapsed Gayle’s hand in her’s, patting the top of it as she looked down at her face, a hopeful smile flashing through. Gayle’s hand trembled slightly, and Wendy squeezed gently.
It took several seconds to realize the trembling was growing more and more intense, and Wendy yelped as Gayle’s whole body shuddered, a bit of foam forming around the woman’s mouth.
She wasn’t recovering, Wendy realized. She was convulsing.
“Oh my God” Wendy whimpered, staring at her mother in disbelief, before the panic finally set in. Looking around wildly, she remembered the door to the room, and sprinted towards it.
“HELP!” she screamed, hysteria in her voice. “SOMEONE HELP!”
The nurse at the desk reacted first, running over towards her, brushing by Wendy to look in the room. She spun, and ordered another nurse to “get Dr. Gilmour.” The second nurse ran off, even as two more entered.
“What’s going on?” Wendy demanded, as the three nurses began working frantically on the trembling woman. “What’s happening!”
“Get her out of here!” One nurse snarled, and the third nurse, a larger man, got up, gently grabbing Wendy and guiding her to the door.
“NO!” Wendy protested, trying to crane her vision around the orderly. “What’s going on?”
“Calm down and be quiet if you want to stay,” the big nurse ordered her, firmly but not unkindly.
By now, the doctor had entered, and joined in the efforts on her. The big nurse had stopped trying to remove her, but still kept her pinned on the other side of the room, and Wendy watched as the medical staff quickly went to work, medical jargon flying back and forth between them as they calmly did their jobs.
Their calm only aggrivated Wendy more, and she bit her lip to keep from screaming. Why weren’t they fixing this? Why weren’t they making her mother better?
Suddenly, Gayle went still, and a long steady beeping filled the room. As one, the doctor and nurses stopped working, their shoulders slumping in resigned defeat. Several seconds went by, before one of the nurses flipped off the EKG monitor, the beeping coming to a stop. The room was silent, heavy with a sense of finality.
“N...no... no..” Wendy protested, looking at the doctor.
“She’s gone,” the doctor finally said softly, looking over at her. “I’m sorry.”
“Revive her! Use those electric paddle things!” Wendy demanded.
“The defibrillator won’t make a difference,” the doctor replied, remaining calm an professional. Obviously this wasn’t the first hysterical family member he’d dealt with in his career. He walked up to Wendy, putting his arm on her shoulder. “She’s at peace now. She’s not hurting anymore.”
Wendy took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, as the doctor turned towards the nurses, giving them various orders on various procedural necessities upon the death of a patient. One by one the nurses left the room, leaving her and the doctor.
“Can.. can I stay with her?” Wendy asked, her voice trembling.
The doctor nodded. “It’ll be a few minutes before the mo.. someone comes up. I’m sorry for your loss.”
It sounded heartfelt, but at the same time, Wendy had a feeling it was something he was used enough to saying by now. Solemnly, the doctor left the room.
Leaving Wendy alone with her mother.
Wendy approached the bed slowly, looking down at Gayle’s body. The doctor was right, she looked far more peaceful than she had been before. Her face was relaxed, and in death, even the faintest hint of a smile had formed on her features. Wendy leaned forward again, trembling, and planted another soft kiss on her forehead. She whimpered again, knowing that it was truly and utterly a goodbye kiss.
A glint of gold caught her eye, and she looked down at her mom’s neck. A shiny golden cross sat there- the rosary necklace Gayle had given her on her first day of school- and the one she had torn off in anger the last time she had seen her. Gingerly, reverently, she reached down, grabbing the necklace, an yanking softly, the clasp undoing, the rosary coming free.
Wendy looked down at the cross, cradling the chain in her hand. She knew her mom would have wanted her to have it back. How much it hurt her that Wendy had discarded it in the first place.
“I’m sorry, Mommy.” Wendy said, and that was all she could get out before everything in her broke down, and she collapsed back in her chair, as every last shred of control she had melted away into a flood of tears and sobbing.
====================
Thursday November 28, 2002
Downtown Mariott Hotel- Room 1451
Indianapolis, Indiana
9:35 AM Local Time
It was times like these that Augustus Briese was glad he was such a damn good actor.
He sat on the bed, cellphone up to his ear, listening to his so-called daughter’s hysterical sobbing from the other line. He couldn’t quite decipher the girl through her warbled wailing, but he could guess well enough. Gayle had passed on this morning.
“I’m so sorry, honey,” Gus said into the phone, for perhaps the seventeenth time of the call. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and just simply hang up. “Yes, I’ll be there soon. I’m just finishing up here. I’ll see you soon. Goodbye.”
“Finishing up?” Asked a female voice in a Ukranian accent as he hung up the phone. “I thought we were just getting started.”
“Sorry,” sighed Gus, glancing at the naked form of the woman lying on the bed next to him. “That was Wendy. Gayle died this morning.”
“Mmm. Took her long enough,” Ivana purred, turning towards him like a stretching cat. “Shame she suffered for so long.”
“Have a care, woman.” Gus snapped. “She was my wife for twenty three years, dammit. Even if I did do what had to be done, it doesn’t mean I liked it.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Mister Briese,” Ivana said in mock-surprise. “I didn’t know you were in grieving.” She moved closer, pressing her body to his, whispering seductively in his ear. “I know all kinds of ways to cure grief.”
Gus arched an eyebrow as he stared at his mistress (was she his mistress anymore?). “Tempting,” he said, turning to face her, and the two pressed their bodies together. “I suppose Wendy can wait a bit as I... mourn in my own special way.”
Ivana giggled lustily, as the two began to passionately kiss, Gus rolling them over so he was on top. For just a second, she broke their liplock. “So when does Yuri get to meet Wendy? It’s a shame his introduction to Gayle was so... quick.”
“Hm.. he did well.” Gus replied. Yuri had played his part perfectly, waiting in the woods by milepost 120 until Gayle had exited the car, shoved her in front of that truck, then disappeared back into the forest before anyone saw him. It was perfect- Gayle never saw it coming, and no one would suspect a third person involved- meaning his version of Gayle drunkenly stumbling into traffic would be accepted without question. “But really, must we talk about the children while fucking?”
“Sorry,” Ivana giggled as she wrapped both legs around him, and pressed her lips back to his.
Gus returned it, closing his eyes. The hospital could wait another hour, or two.
Or maybe even three.
=========================
Wednesday May 23, 2012
Marion County Community Theater- Auditorium
Indianapolis, Indiana
3:19 PM Local time
Black screen. At least until words appear on the screen in bright red lettering, one line appearing and fading before the next appears.
CARTWHEEL GALAXY PRODUCTIONS PRESENT
A DANIEL POLLASKI PRODUCTION
IN ASSOCIATION WITH THE MARION COUNTY COMMUNITY THEATER.
WRITTEN BY DANIEL POLLASKI
CONVICTION! THE MUSICAL
Fade up.
As the picture comes in, we’re in a rather decently sized auditorium, looking at the stage, where upon it a small wrestling ring has been placed, where two girls in leotards are busy staggering around in a collar and elbow, both girls grunting. Not too far away, standing in the center of the stage, glancing over her shoulder at the women grappling is Wendy Briese. Smiling, she turns to the camera, sticking her thumb over her shoulder to point at them.
Wendy: “Rookies. Training for their big break. Sounds crazy, no? But here, in our little company of Femme Fatale Wrestling, you might say everyone of us is like those rookies. Trying to perfect our craft. To get noticed, before we get hurt. It’s not easy. You might ask... why do we do it, if it’s so dangerous?”
Wendy shrugs, turning to walk towards the ring.
Wendy: “Well, we do it because we love it. And FFW is our home. So what is this ‘big thing’ we’re training so hard, and trying to get ready for? That, I can tell you in one word!”
Wendy grins, and flings her arms out wide.
Wendy: “CONVICTION!”
As the orchestral opening to “Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof begins, the stage suddenly comes alive as several dozen women walk onstage, each dressed up like a different FFW wrestler, and Wendy blends into the crowd. Some are actually pretty dead on impersonations, while other’s are a bit looser. None are really that offensive, although the girl playing Ignis is about eighty pounds too heavy. For the record “choir” pretty much means everyone on stage.
Choir: #CONVICTIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! CONVICTION!#
#CONVICTION!#
#CONVICTIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! CONVICTION!#
#CONVICTION!*#
Suddenly, the music changes to “One Night In Bangkok” from the musical Chess. The women all dance, forming a perfect circle around the ring, and as the orchestral opening ends, Daniel Pollaski (the real one) suddenly appears in the ring, dressed in a glittering tuxedo, as he half sings/half-speaks the lyrics.
Pollaski: #Denver the Mile High City
The city knows what’s coming and it’s whipped in a frenzy
The creme de la creme of the wrestling world
In a show with everything but Stacey Mackenzie.#
Horns blare, as the girls all pirouette as one.
Pollaski: #Time flies, doesn’t seem a minute
Since the FFW title had Scarlett’s waist in it.
How strange, but don’t you know that when you
Compete at this level you get a pretty damn good venue.#
The actress playing Scarlett’s bowed her head sadly, as the rest continue to dance.
Pollaski: #You’re in Seattle, or New Orleans, or Indianapolis, or... or this place!#
Pollaski spreads his arms wide as a silhouette of the Denver skyline appears behind him. As it does, the actress playing Tara Thunder goes to the center, doing a series of gymnastic flips that the real Tara Thunder probably wouldn’t be able to do. The women all sing the choral part.
Choir: #One night in Denver and the tough girls tumble.
Not much between defeat and victory
You’ll see the greatness that is Tara Thunder
Unless she’s swept out by a Tsunami
I can see our owner watching this one closely#
On cue, the actress playing Eileen Amaro runs up, and kicks Tara in the butt, sending her sprawling. Tara gets up, and the two women begin stage fighting, neither getting an advantage. Pollaski goes back to half-singing.
Pollaski: #Denver’s gonna be the witness
To the Ultimate test of Physical Fitness
This grips me anyore than any ski resort
Or abandoned Indian Fort
But thank God I’m only watching the matches, screaming suggestions.#
Pollaski shrugs, and leans against the ring ropes.
Pollaski: #I don’t see you guys beating
The kind of ladies you’ll see competing.
I’d let you try, I would invite you
But the Queen we have will kinda frighten you#
“Jennifer Stryfe:” BOO!
As she jumps out, all the girls gasp, and move as far away from her as possible, the music stopping as she does- save for the girl playing Kaitlynn Stryfe who just glares at her.
Pollaski: Easy girls, save that for later in the show.
Music back on
Pollaski: #So you better go back to your jello pits, and mud pools. Your baby oil.#
Choir: #One night in Denver and the landscape changes
You couldn’t show this much on free TV
You might just see a brand new TV Champion
But either way someone will make history
And give Traci Loveheart a little brutality!#
The song quickly changes again, as the actresses playing Caroline Dallins and Jennifer Williams run forward, climbing in the ring. The early baseline for “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond begins, and Pollaski leaves the stage, being replaced by another guy holding a guitar and strumming it. It’s a bit off, but obviously intended to look like Lyn Dallins.
“Lyn”: #Where it began... it was Season Six of Future
Where she finished third and came on real strong
But that was the spring. And now that it’s turning summer.
Suddenly everything she does is wrong.#
“Caroline’s” doing somewhat of an interpretive dance here, while “Jennifer” looks on annoyed.
“Lyn:” #Cold... Choking Stone#
Training Hard, NOT DRINKING DEW!#
Sing along kids!
Choir: #MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN CAAAROLINE!#
BA BA BA!
#Beatdowns never looked so good!#
It should be noticed that in the background, that “Caroline’s” ramming “Jennifer’s” head into the turnbuckle rhythm to the music.
Choir: #I AM INCLINED!#
BA BA BA!
#To hope she takes J-Will out behind the wood...shed yeah...#
“Lyn” looks as if he want to sing more, but suddenly a scream is heard, and the actress playing Jo suddenly finds herself into the middle of the circle, having been roughly pushed in by someone playing Chris Strike. “Strike” stalks towards her, an accusing finger pointing at "Jo", as the music changes again.
“Strike”: #Shut your fucking face Christian Fucker!
You’re a stupid cock guzzling cum dumpster Christian Fucker
You’re a Christian Fucker are you insane
To spread your legs for that Canuck lamebrain?#
Pollaski comes back on stage from the other side, screaming at "Jo" himself.
Pollaski: #You’re such a stupid whore Christian Fucker!
You’d lie on top of any guy who asked you, Christian Fucker
Your’e a Christian Fucker, you’ve got no guts!#
“Jo:” (speaking) Oh yeah? WATCH ME KICK HIM IN THE NUTS!
And as luck would have it, a Christian Kane lookalike has appeared right at that very moment. How convenient. “Kane” collapses to the floor, while everyone looks on in shocked silence, seemingly trying to come to a conclusion of what just happens. As is so often, Pollaski figures it out.
Pollaski: #You’re not fooling anyone, TIRRI FUCKER
You’re a classless teabagging sperm bank TIRRI FUCKER#
“Jo” calmly walks over, putting her arms around “Strike”, staring angrily back at Pollaski.
“Jo:” “I think I can sleep with whoever I choose.”
Pollaski: “You know what? … Wait... was this all a ruse?”
“Jo” and “Strike” grin wildly, and a long silence comes over the entire prouction, all music stopping. Pollaski simply scratches his head.
Pollaski: “Oh, well, this is awkward.”
Everyone’s staring at him, and now “Sabra” has come out to join “Strike” and “Jo” in the middle of the stage. Pollaski chuckles nervously.
Pollaski: “Here’s your opponents!”
Sure enough, two girls in wigs mimicking Raquel and Mickey step out, playing a guitar.
“Mickey” & “Raquel”: #We are the tag team known as Scarborough Fair#
*BLAM!*
*BLAM!*
Quickly, “Jo” and “Sabra” pull out shotguns, blowing the newcomers away. As they lie on the ground, a guy dressed in a dog costume runs out, grabbing both women, and holding their arms up like trophies, while the “Got ‘em!” music from Duck Hunt plays. Pollaski looks to the side, where Wendy is staring, a “Are you serious?” expression on her face.
Pollaski: “Um.. NEXT SONG!”
It’s Ob-la-Di by The Beatles. The girls playing Desirae Kain and Arianna Millar come out, singing alternate lines of a duet.
“Arianna:” #Desi is a wrestler in Fourth Future Shock#
“Desirae:” #Ari is a failure in T&A#
“Arianna:” #Desi wins the contest gets a tag team shot#
“Desirae:” #So she calls up Ari, and says “Come on, let’s play!”#
Everyone joins in for the chorus.
Choir: #UN-I-TY Tag team belts
They go ooooooooo-on!
La la la la la Eternal Flame
UN-I-TY Tag Team Belts
Gotta be stroooo-ong!
Angelic Cindy left that’s kinda lame#
Now it’s the other team’s turn, as girls playing Hayley and the (fat) Ignis step forward.
“Ignis:” #Hayley was a partner in the Cherrybombs
Kicked Belladonna’s ass out of the door#
“Hayley: #Teamed up with a fourth place Season Three drop out
Who got booted because Alvin Shephard’s a whore#
Choir: #UN-I-TY Tag Tag Team Belts
Match is Oooooo-on!
Spectra Fantasia they are no more
UN-I-TY Tag Team Belts
Like our sooooo-ong!
Danger Queens fell too behind in the score.#
“Hayley: & “Ignis”: #In a couple of months Bounce & Pounce they were the best#
“Desirae” & “Arianna”: #But soon they were stripped of both those shiny belts
Because Ignis failed a routine urine test
Oh, no no no no#
“Ignis” folds her arms over her chest, looking grumpy.
“Desirae” & “Arianna”: #Desi and Ari won the belts back for the second time
Claiming them back at Chaos Theory#
“Ignis” & “Hayley”: #Bounce and Pounce still claim it was a heinous crime
So they beat up contenders the last two Velocities#
Choir: #UN-I-TY UN-I-TAH
Rematch oooo-on!
Watch this match because it’s gonna rock
UN-I-TY UN-I-TAH
End of soooo-ong!
But still four more left in this whole damn crock!#
Choir: #And if you want some fun... It’s UN-I-TY TA-DA! HEY!#
The lights dim considerably, and the actresses playing Katherine Stryfe and Emma McIntyre step forward, beginning to slow dance with each other. Another actress, this one obviously Valerie Belmont (complete with baby in her arms) steps forward, as the tune changes to “Beauty and the Beast”
“Valerie:” #Tale as old as time
Tragic it might be
They were once great friends
Then somebody went
And teamed with mediocrity#
“Rebbecca:” HEY!
“Valerie”: #Former tag team champs
Now sworn enemies
Both a little nuts
Neither’s got a butt
Nightmare I-N-C”#
“Kat” and “Emma” seperate, looking forlorn.
“Valerie:” #Both are just insane!
So the fur will fly
Kick down all the doors
Put the pedal to the floor
Cause someone’s gonna die!”
“Kat” and “Emma” have drawn swords, and are swinging at each other in another stage fight.
“Valerie:” #Tale as old as time
Hard like a metal song
Neither knows their place
So they’ll pound each other’s face
How can you say it’s wrong?#
Both combatants step apart, as the song reaches its concluding stanza
“Valerie:” #Certain as a Deas
Will always be the least
Just be ready to flee
Cause this could get ugly
Nightmare I-N-C.#
Suddenly, the opening riff to the Scorpions “Rock You Like a Hurricane” begins to play, and the stage is transformed suddenly into a rock concert. An actor playing Anders Stark (with a really long glittering robe the real Anders probably wouldn’t be caught dead in) steps up to the microphone, while another actor playing Wolf (with fake beard!) is jamming on a guitar. Meanwhile, a third actress, this one playing Cara Stone is in the ring, practicing moves by herself.
“Stark:” #It’s early morning, she’s training hard
It wasn’t easy to get on this card
She made Becca bleed, to make the dance
And make the most out of her second chance!#
As “Anders” continues to sing, another girl, this one huskier, looking like Camilla Pazzini, and eating fried chicken, walks in. “Cara” immediately kicks her, causing “Camilla” to start choking.
“Stark:” #The champ’s complacent, she’s gotta go
Maybe it’ll happen at this upcoming show
A ten second count, that’s tough to do alone
But if anyone can... it’s CARA STONE!#
Meanwhile “Cara” is giving poor “Camilla” the Hiemlich maneuver. Unfortunately for them, no one else is noticing.
“Choir:” #Here she is... awesomesauce like a hurricane!
Here she is... awesomesauce like a huricaaaaaaa-ane!#
Everyone finally realizes that something’s departed from the script. As they all turn to look, the chicken in Camilla’s throat is dislodged, flying across the room, and smacking “Wolf” in the face. “Wolf” disgustedly tossed the chicken aside. Again, an awkward silence. From off-stage, Pollaski tries to keep things going.
Pollaski: Hardcoooooooooooooooooree...
Everyone gets the hint. Two more actors appear, both wearing suits. These could only be the dynamic duo (at least on stage) of Antony Gambini and Alexander Stryfe. Both are wearing sunglasses, and acting quite soulful.
Choir: #WAR HUNH! YEAH!
What is it good for?#
“Gambini:” #Settling unfinished business#
Choir: #WAR! HUNH! YEAH!
What is it good for?#
“Alex Stryfe:” #Lots and lots of buyrates
Say it again, now!#
Choir: #WAR! HUNH! YEAH!
What is it good for?#
“Gambini”: #Finishing this once and for all
Listen to me#
Both men sing together
“Gambini” & “Stryfe:” #Ohh... war! Two women who despise
It means absolute destruction of somebody’s life
One Stryfe will prevail, the other one cries
And there’s a pretty good chance that someone’s gonna die#
Choir: #WAR! HUH! GOOD GOD YALL!
What is it good for?#
“Alexander Stryfe:” #Two women who are cold heartbreakers!#
“Gambini” #Better speed dail the under taker#
“Choir” #WAR HUH YEAH!
What is it good for
I think you all already know that by now!#
Everyone stops as the music changes one more time, this time to “Like a Virgin” Surprisingly, it’s Wendy Briese (yes, the real one), appearing, dressed in her ring gear, and holding a microphone. She begins to sing in her pleasant soprano voice.
Wendy: #I made it through the tournament
I really made it through
Made Lumina Ferrari tap
Beat Starla McCloud too#
Wendy: #I was glad! Ms. Star was mad
She came out, flashed some attitude
Then at Chaos Theory.
Yeah at Chaos Theory, I got kinda screwed!#
It should be noted that for being such a prude, Wendy’s taken to a Madonna song rather well.
Wendy: #Like a champion
Defending for the very first time
Like a cha-a-ampion
For two months I’ve had this on my mind#
Behind Wendy, the actress playing Starla starts running around, looking terrified.
Wendy: #Starla’s got nowhere to hide now
Her reign is fading fast
If she won’t tap I’ll break something
Put her in a cast#
“Starla" bursts into tears upon hearing that.
Wendy: #I want to win, let’s begin
I’ll prevail, I will climb that fence
And maybe this time...
Yeah, maybe this time I’ll have a successful defense!#
Sheepish grin from Wendy
Wendy: #Like a Champion
Winning it for just the second time
Like a Cha-a-ampion
Time to rectify, this horrible criiiiiime
Whoaaaaa-oh-oh oh#
She immediately cuts to the outro, as the rest of the crew hops on stage.
Wendy: #With my Banshee
And my Gaspless
And my Celtic Knot
I’ve got plenty more
Yeah, like a Champion#
The music fades, and Wendy finds her self surrounded by the rest of the cast. As one, they raise their hands to the air.
Everyone: "CONVICTION!!!!!!"
And cut
The theme from the Crash Man Stage from Mega Man 2 plays, which provides a strangely fitting backdrop to the credits as they roll.
Daniel Pollaski as HIMSELF
Wendy Briese as HERSELF
Then comes the long scrolling list of actors and actresses who played the other wrestlers. Finally ending with...
SPECIAL THANKS THE MARION COUNTY COMMUNITY THEATER
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY DANIEL POLLASKI
A CARTWHEEL GALAXY PRODUCTION
End of feed.
No comments:
Post a Comment