Saturday March 10, 2012
The Nest- Living Room
Indianapolis, Indiana
3:17 PM Local Time
As is so often in these videos, the scene opens in the living room of the Thomspon family household. Daniel Pollaski is standing in the middle of the living room looking as if he’s about to start talking. However, as he’s just about to open his mouth, an all-too familiar redhead comes walking into the picture, passing between Pollaski and the camera. Wendy is carrying a basket of laundry, and whistling a song to herself, although she stops and leaps back when she realizes what she is doing.
Wendy: “Whoops! Sorry.. I didn’t know you were filming a promo...”
She quickly scoots out of the picture, although Pollaski only shrugs.
Pollaski: “Oh, no worries, I was just getting started. We can edit this part out.”
Evidently, that didn’t happen. Wendy walks back into the frame, still carrying the laundry basket. She glances back at the camera.
Wendy: “You’re in another idiotic handicapped match again, aren’t you?”
Pollaski nods.
Pollaski: “Yup. Against, Lucas Peek and his... um...”
Wendy: “Peekaboos?”
Pollaski: “I really hate that phrase. I’d rather just call them annoying clones.”
Wendy shrugs in response.
Wendy: “Fair enough...”
Pollaski: “But, you know, Wendy. I’ve been thinking, and Lucas reminds me of a certain... old video game boss from my childhood.”
Pollaski pauses, clearly expecting Wendy to respond. Wendy, who rarely plays video games outside of Dance Dance Revolution, looks completely at a loss of words, before just taking a leap of faith.
Wendy: “Mother Brain?”
Jaw drop.
Pollaski: “Why would you EVER put Lucas Peek and brain together in the same damn sentence?
Wendy: “I don’t know! I don’t know video game villians!”
Pollaski: “Yeah, but... wow. Anyways... NO. I was referring to someone sinister, someone EVIL. Someone who can duplicate themselves at will. Someone, who harnesses the very power of the STARS.”
There’s a very long pause, mostly comprising of Wendy staring slack-jawed at her manager.
Wendy: “Yeah... I’m so lost right now.”
Pollaski: “Then watch and learn, Wendy. Watch and learn. HIT IT!”
The following song suddenly begins to play:
And just like that, the living room is suddenly bathed in the same soft fluorescent lights that made the Gemini Man stage of Mega Man 3 so noticeable. As Wendy continues to stare in slack-jawed amazement, Pollaski grabs a microphone and begins swaying back and forth, while behind them, Theresa and Cassie appear. Theresa is dressed like one of the infamous tadpoles from the stage, and is dancing around (it’s adorable). The rarely-seen Cassie looks as if she wants absolutely nothing to do with this, mainly because she’s dressed in a penguin costume. Behind them, Terrence appears, holding up a large cardboard cutout of a Nitron (those annoying eye-bomber thingies). He begins waving the cutout back and forth across the screen. Pollaski, for his part, simply begins to sing.
Let me tell you about the legend that is Lucas Peek.
Acts like a man but he’s really just a cowardly freak.
Not so good at wrestling but he’s great at hide and seek.
But once I finally catch him you’ll find him face down in a creek!
The expression on Wendy’s face now can only bedescribed as bemused horror. The lyrics aren’t especially well sung, and they barely fit the melody, but Pollaski continues undaunted, backed up by Theresa and Terrence, who obviously have been rehearsing.
(Lu...cas....Peek.)
One of the most pathetic, annoying wrestlers ever known
Pollaski’s not quite matching the mariachi sounding horn line, but bless him, he’s trying
(He’s...a....freak!)
During our upcoming match I’ll break a few bones.
(Hide...and....seek!)
He should be prepared... to be owned
Duplicate all you want.. I’ll kill your clones
Pollaski again begins swaying back and forth as the original baseline of the song begins to play again. Terrence and Theresa begin singing along with the baseline
(Lucas Peek-y... he’s kinda freaky)
(Lucas Peek-y... he’s kinda freaky)
Verse two!
So Gambini thinks he can break my soul with Lucas Peek
But I’m not the kind of guy who just turns the other cheek
Just remember Lucas sucks, in the ring he really reeks.
I’d drive his stock so low you’d swear that he is Greek!
Pollaski turns, and sees Wendy still standing there, just staring at him. He lowers the microphone, looking back at her, as the music behind him fades.
Pollaski: “...What?”
Wendy: “Isn’t this like, Jodie Gray’s area of expertise?”
Pollaski snorts.
Pollaski: “Please. Jodie wasn’t even BORN when this came out. But just like Gemini Man, Lucas seemingly can clone himself. And it makes him more dangerous than he really is. Because once you get Gemini Man down to one guy again... he’s dead.”
Wendy: “Of course.”
Pollaski: “But of course, to make it really easy, all you need is another boss’ weapon. And that boss is...”
Suddenly, the living room is bathed in Green light, more akin to the Snake Man Stage, as the much more upbeat song begins to play. Thresa, still in her tadpole costume, suddenly begins to jump up and down on a pogo stick.
Wendy: “Okay, I’m done.”
Pollaski: “But wait... this one’s better than the last one! I promise!”
It’s no use, as Wendy’s walking away with her laundry, leaving the rest of her entourage behind. Pollaski misses his cue to start singing, and walks after her.
Pollaski: “Aw, come on, Wendy! Cassie! Aw!”
Needless to say, Cassie’s given up on this too, and has walked out, smacking Pollaski over the head with one of her Penguin flippers. Upon contact, the music stops, and Pollaski explodes- Mega Man style with the circles flying out from his final location.
And with that... we’re done.
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